Judge, 1916-12-16 · page 9 of 28
Judge — December 16, 1916 — page 9: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three distinct satirical pieces: **Top illustration**: A landscape scene depicting a cemetery or graveyard, likely symbolizing death or loss—thematically appropriate to the "Spirit of Christmas" title, suggesting ironic contrast between holiday cheer and mortality. **"The Notion Counter"**: A column of brief, cynical observations about American life by Douglas Malloch. These are disconnected one-liners mocking social pretension, inefficiency, and hypocrisy—typical Judge fare. References to "Mason and Dixon's line" evoke North-South regional divisions; "gin out of Virginia" likely references Prohibition-era alcohol restrictions. **"Little Marian" anecdote**: A children's story where young Marian one-ups her friend Minna in a vanity competition about mothers' youth by claiming a "young-looking grandmother"—gentle humor about childish logic and competitive boasting. **Bottom dialogue**: A husband-wife exchange joking that Christmas shopping crowds prove the shopping district is moving uptown faster than reported—light seasonal humor about commercial Christmas excess. The overall tone is cynical, anti-sentimental satire masquerading under a Christmas title.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
PAR eel QU) THE SPIRIT OF CHRISTMAS The Notion Counter Their Arguments HE WORLD'S worst waster of ITTLE MARIAN is the youngest of six children, while : time is the man who wastes her chum Minna is an only daughter. One day they the other man’s. were having an argument. ‘ Mason and Dixon’s line divides “My mother is much younger-looking than yours,” Min- § the localities where the orators call a stated triumphantly. ad it a state from those where they or a few moments Marian was crestfallen, then she added © call it the commonwealth jubilantly: Mother says he accepted a. po- “Well, [don’t care—I have a young-looking grand- %, J sition, but sonny was glad to get neces a job. , ‘The race is not always to the swift nor the battle Z Yi to the phenom whe s bum support. YY, Uy, Y * ‘The sleeping beauty may have looked pretty, but My evidently it has to be a princess. Now that it has gone dry, someone evidently has taken the gin out of Virginia. Personally, if we were at the front what we would be longing to use would not be arms but legs. I never have seen a smile on a hotel clerk that looked like he really meant it. One nice thing about giving a man a vote of thanks is that it is so inexpensive. The fiddle may make prettier music, but the thing you notice is the drum. Advertise. The market tendency of wallpaper is such that we don’t have to use paste to keep it on the ceiling. If they ever have a national convention of baggage handlers, let us hope that some modern Guy Fawkes makes good. It costs more to live than it ever did but there seems to be no falling off in the number of people who start to doing it. 7 . ne : When the local politician buys a broad-brimmed Wife It says here that the shopping center of the city is moving up town an inch an hour. hat you may know that he is thinking of running for Husband—Must be a mistake. From the number of Christmas purchases that sheriff, —Douglas Malloch. came in here this week I should say the rate is a mile a minute comicbooks.com