Judge, 1916-10-07 · page 17 of 32
Judge — October 7, 1916 — page 17: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several satirical pieces typical of early 20th-century American humor: **"Too True" (top cartoon)**: A farmer and land speculator discuss selling property. The joke's premise appears to be that the farmer, having invested heavily ("every red cent"), claims his land is valuable like "a regular gold mine"—yet wants to sell it anyway, revealing the contradiction in his pitch. **"A Honk or Two"**: Satirizes automobile culture and owners' pretenses. The humor targets how car owners brag about their vehicles while they frequently break down, and how people perform fake sympathy about mechanical troubles. The tire-puncturing prank suggests petty rivalry between automobile owners. **"Diverse Divorce"**: A humorous poem about a woman who divorced multiple husbands across different states, accumulating different married names (Smith, Jones, Bones, Brown, Robinson). The satire mocks both her marital instability and confusing interstate marriage laws. The remaining brief comic exchanges mock typical domestic situations—car troubles, marital arguments about punctuality—through wordplay and exaggeration typical of period humor magazines.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Farmer (selling place)—The land's a regular gold mine. A Honk or Two EVERY PERSON should have an au- tomobile of some kind. A few months ago we came into possession of aone-cylindered affair. It’s in the garage a quarter of the time. We're going to hang onto it, just the same. If it had four cylin- ders, it would prob’ly be in the garage all the time. When the agent for a rival, and larger, machine approaches us, we arrange to have him stand in front of our car while he talks, so we can prove ourselves some- what of a hinter by putting the wind- shield up, with a scowl on our face. Many an interesting and instructive experiment can be performed with an inflated automobile tire. Following here- with we provide the description of one that is entertaining and inexpensive, if carried out on some other party’s tire. Having procured and driven a good- sized nail through the outer casing and the inner tube, thus effecting a puncture, quickly light a match, and hold it over the hole which is discovered after the nail is removed. The blaze may be every red cent I've got into it. instantly blown out. We don’t know. It cheers us all over when business, and our car, take us with much rattling, honking and pounding, to a crowded garage, because we know how to sym- pathize aloud with everybody there and they know how to feel sorry for us above a whisper, which is the more important, by far. Quite often during the warm weather we crawl under our machine and stretch out for a while on our back, but we ain't doing it just because it’s nice and shady there.—Leslie Van Erery. Clothes It was at the opera, and they were sizing up the gorgeous costumes. “Women are certainly fond of dress,” said Hokus. “If that’s the case,” replicd Pokus, his eyes glued to the décolleté gowns, “why don’t they wear more of it?” Usually Willis—Do you own a car? Gillis—Yes. Willis—Have trouble? Gillis—Yes. Two of them I can't get off and the other two I can get off but I can’t get back on. you had any tire- Prospectice purchaser—Then why do you want to sell ? Farmer—Well, I've put Diverse Divorce NCE I knew a buxom lady, Who—I can’t recall the dates— Had divorced some husbands shady In the courts of several states. And, when she would wed another, As was frequently the case, He could be no more than brother If they changed their dwelling-place. So she nursed one worry ever, Bred of flirting with our laws: When she traveled, she should never Know which card to use, because She was Smith in Pennsylvania, In Missouri she was Jones, In New Hampshire (he'd a mania For spring chickens) she was Bones. In Rhode Island Brown they'd name her, Robinson in Tennessee; Ah, dear reader, can you blame her For not knowing which was she? —Charlotte Becker. Life’s Sorrows She—I hear she has left her husband. He—No, she has her husband left. The suit went against her. Matrimonial Note He (irgratiatingly)—I was belated a bit, last night, my dear. Wife (coolly)—Belated minus the b! comicbooks.com