Judge, 1916-09-16 · page 9 of 28
Judge — September 16, 1916 — page 9: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is a Yiddish-inflected comedy sketch by Lou Rab depicting two Jewish immigrant businessmen—Max Markowitz (skirt manufacturer/boss) and Henry Shapiro (bookkeeper and brother-in-law)—arguing about Henry's chronic lateness to work. **The Setup:** Max angrily confronts Henry for arriving at 10 a.m. with "sleepiness," sarcastically noting Henry isn't important enough to deserve such behavior. **The Humor:** Henry responds by threatening to redirect Mr. Goldman's business (and his twenty-dozen orders) elsewhere, then boasts of Sunday night spent promoting their products. Max jokes about buying an "alarm clock from a customer peddler that sells them with family albums"—absurdist comedy mocking both the trivial complaint and Henry's lack of humor. **The Satire:** The sketch satirizes early-20th-century Jewish immigrant business culture and Yiddish-accented English ("Oder," "Oi"). The bottom illustration shows a romantic couple—likely Henry with Sadie (Goldman's daughter)—hinting the real reason for Henry's late arrival and distraction is romance, not business. The page captures period ethnic humor popular in Judge magazine.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
The girl (having carefully led him into the situation depicted above)—Now don’t get sentimental ! MARKOWITZ AND HENRY They Discuss Tardiness and Family Albums Ry LOU AY, HENRY, you ain't a J. P. Morgan or a John D. Rockfeller!” exclaimed Max Markowitz, the skirt manufacturer, to Henry Shapiro, his bookkeeper and brother-in-law, as the latter entered the office late one Monday morning. “You ain’t even the boss of a chain of stores which takes in the whole woild for a nickel! And yet, you got the freshness to come in ten o'clock by the office with sleepiness in your eves like you was by a lodge meeting with refreshments, or had the whole Middle West buyers out on Broadway, the whole night. Henry, too much is too much! And even if you are Minnie’s brother, does that mean you can laugh the alarm clock in the face on a Monday morning like it was Sunday, and toin over on the other side? Business is business. Oder, you come in the office on time like a stranger and a regelar bookkeeper, or you go out from this door like a brother-in-law and friend with a good reference, but no job.” “Honest, Ma angrily retorted Henry, shrugging his shoulders, “I never saw such a fellow in my life. Once in a thousand years I don’t come in just on the minute, and he falls on me like I was Rip Reb Winkle from the Catskill Moun- tains, whose alarm clock went off twenty years too late. There's no use talking, Max, you want me to be a stranger with you by business? Alleright! Gesettled! I will let Mr. Goldman, Sadie’s father by whose house I was yesterday till twelve o'clock in the night, buy where he wants . . . by Rittow and Buchholtz, . . . by Chipkin and Bluhm, . . . by Laitin and Rosenstein. It ain’t my busin I told him yesterday that number 555 got all the other fellers’ numbers skinned a mile with the fur edging, and he was going to come in to-day. Now, what do I care if he buys them or not? And the seven-elevens, what even the lucky number can’t push out from the stock room, what Mr. Goldman says he needs twenty dozen, I bet you'll never push out in your life! A stranger Lam? A whole RAB Sunday night I spent for him boosting business, and on Monday morning he boos me out! Oi,——” ha,” laughed Markowitz with an effort. “I thought a little common sense, and a sense from humor. You can’t tell a joke even if it’s got a label on it from all the seventy- seven languages. I just tell a little joke, so that we commence the week with a smile, and he takes it serious like a judge “ssex Market Court. What do I care for a couple of minutes? Between brother-in-laws, what's a couple of minutes? A couple of seconds—remnants—nothing. But I tell you, Henry, better-buy an alarm clock from a customer peddler that sells them with family albums.” amily albums! Ooh! id Henry with a gesture of dis- gust. ‘Don’t mention family albums to me. I’ve—” “But what was you doing all the time by Goldman and Company so late, all the time talking about seven-elevens? Ain’t he mentioned our double X’s special?” vo, Max, we dassn’t talk bi ness all the time. It was Sunday night. So we talked how fast Hughes and Wilson was running, and a little about fast dyes; how strong the Goi- mans was fighting, and how the cut- throats, Rosemarin and Rosenberg, was cutting prices; how slow the mails from Europe were going, and the raw materials were coming, hov——” “But, wasn’t you talking to Sadie alone at all?” asked Markowitz, with a knowing smile. “Yes,” replied Henry, “I enjoyed myself with Sadie a little while alone, but I tell you, Max, when Mr. and Mrs. Goldman and sons and daugh- WIFIE'S WATCHFULLY WAITING The sceress says ie Bad fuck’s comicbooks.com