Judge, 1916-07-29 · page 7 of 28
Judge — July 29, 1916 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Judge* contains several short satirical pieces mocking middle-class social conventions and pretense: **"A Picnic Ballad"** satirizes lazy, self-important men who delegate all work to servants (George) while enjoying leisure and romance at picnics—a commentary on class exploitation dressed as lighthearted verse. **"False Alarm"** jokes about provincial narrow-mindedness: a man suspects his neighbor of impropriety, only to learn the "strange man" is her brother from the Philippines, whom he'd never met. **"The Poor Preacher"** critiques clergy underpayment and financial desperation—a minister refuses a modest raise because he can't even collect his existing meager salary. **"The Usual Way"** is a brief doctor joke about patients exaggerating complaints. **"The Champ"** plays on misleading appearances: the "champion lightweight" is actually a butcher, not a boxer—humor based on unexpected contradictions. The top cartoon depicts a hostess embarrassed by her shy daughter avoiding distinguished dinner guests—social anxiety among the affluent. Overall, the page targets genteel pretense, class hypocrisy, and middle-class anxieties.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Hostess—We had tuch a distinguished crowd of people at dinner last night, and do you know my daughter was so shy she would not come down to meet them. A Picnic Ballad PICNIC party in July, A A most emphatic sun ablaze! The mercury still climbing high, All heedless of its sinful ways! But when my handiness they prgise I say: “I have a tender throat, Let George prepare the mayonnaise And fly around without a coat!” I linger with a happy sigh In a canoe by lilied ways. T hear the robin’s carol die And talk of art and books and plays. At pretty Marianne I gaze, A lass on whom I fairly dote, While George prepares the mayonnaise And flics around without a coat. Or in the pleasant shade I lie Until the girls get out the trays. Then, anchored by the “leming” pie, The damsels’ cookery I praise. On sandwiches and cake I graze Until I feel my Being bloat, But George prepares the mayonnaise And flies around without a coat. L’Envoi Prince, take the picnic party's praise As of your just desert; but note: Let George prepare the mayonnaise And fly around without a coat. —J. E. Middleton. False Alarm 6¢7] SAW Mrs. Neighbor in town to- day with a strange man,” an- nounced Mr. Homecomer. “I didn’t rec- ognize him.” “Of course not,” gasped his wife. “How dreadful!” “Yes—fine, tall young chap in naval uniform and: me “Why, you silly! That’s her brother from the Philippines whom you never saw!” “Well, I said I didn’t recognize him.” Bettered “I only got half way through my speech when my voice went back on me.” “That so? I heard them say your specch was about twice as good as usual.” . The Poor Preacher Spokesman—We have pleasure in informing you, Rev. Mr. Jones, that we have decided to increase your stipend from $700 to $800 a year. Mr. Jones—I refuse to accept it. I’ve enough trouble already trying to collect the $700. Guest—Big-gun shy, I suppose. The Usual Way Patient—Oh, Doctor, Doctor, no tongue can tell how I suffer! Physician—Ah—h'm! Let me sce your tongue, please. bw) THE CHAMP Mr. Black—There goes the champion light- weight of New York. Mr. White—That so? He doesn’t look like a fighter. Mr. Black—He isn't. He's our butcher. comicbooks.com