Judge, 1916-07-22 · page 11 of 28
Judge — July 22, 1916 — page 11: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains **multiple humor pieces** typical of early 20th-century Judge magazine: **Top cartoon**: Shows a policeman questioning people on a dock during a rescue scene ("Cries from water—Help, Help!"), likely satirizing whether this is a genuine emergency or a staged movie stunt—reflecting contemporary anxieties about film fakery and sensationalism. **"Number Nine" poem**: A sentimental romantic piece about a man proposing during a dance's ninth number—straightforward courtship humor with no apparent political content. **"Lazytown Local News"**: Gentle satirical short items mocking small-town life: a man who dies from reading too many newspapers; a postoffice robbery of two-cent stamps; a test of postal efficiency by mailing an unaddressed letter. **Other quips**: Brief jokes about gasoline cars and shifting gears; a Scottish dialect medical scene. The page reflects Judge's typical blend of **sentimental romance, small-town satire, and light social commentary**—nothing overtly political. The humor targets everyday domestic and rural life rather than major political figures or events.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Cries from water—Help, Help! Number Nine MAY have been the dancing; (It couldn’t be the punch!) It may have been the flowers she wore, A crimson-flaming bunch; It may have been the heated room, It may have been But Lucy’s cheeks wing As we “sat out” number nine. It may have been at something She'd heard somebody say; It may have been the brightest mot From Broadway’s latest play; It may have been because her gown Caused rivals to repine; But Lucy’s lips were smiling As we “sat out” number nine. It may have been the music; It may have been—a tear! Tt may have been because she felt Dan Cupid hiding near; It may have been the knowledge that Her hands were held in mine; But Lucy’s eyes were shining As we “sat out” number nine. It may have been the moonlight Upon the dewy grass; (Such things, I'm told, will often bring Strange happenings to pass.) It may have been—but wherefore try A reason to assign? I proposed id was accepted— As we “sat out” number nine.—F.G.H. Lazytown Local News A MAN who has been taking more 4% papers than he can read died at his home near Bounding Billows last week, and the editor of the Tickville Tidings, who can’t hear any too well anyway, somehow overlooked the news item. cd The postoftice in the Calf Ribs neigh- borhood was entered and robbed of several two-cent stamps one night last week. The mail carricr has been given a de- scription of the stamps and will keep a watch-out for them. 2 To test the ef- ficiency of the government's Postoffice depart- ment, Slim Pick- ens this week wrote a letter and sent it away without address- ing it.—George Bingham. The freak dan- ces seem to be on their last legs. Policeman—Is this real, or is it a moving-picture stunt? Almost Too Easy Mrs. Dibble—I sce you run a gasoline car. Is it hard for you to shift the gears? Mrs. Dabble—No, it is as easy as it is for most people to shift responsibility. Like Most Rubberham—Did your runabout cost much? Wheeley—Not so much as it has. Scotch surgeon—I'll pull ye thru, all richt, Sandy. Ye'll recall that 1 always pulled ye over th’ line at a tug-o'-war. atient—Hoot, mon! ‘tis a black lee! I'll — Surgeon—There, there, Sandy, ye're all richt, now. Th’ crisis is over. comicbooks.com