Judge, 1916-07-15 · page 10 of 28
Judge — July 15, 1916 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page satirizes American political speech-making through dialogue between Henry (an immigrant) and Markowitz, who asks Henry to write a wedding speech. Henry mocks politicians' verbose, meaningless rhetoric—comparing Republicans and Democrats as indistinguishable (like "a nickel and five pennies"). He ridicules how both parties use identical tactics: one says "night," the other "day," but it's the same date. Both employ flag-waving patriotism and talk endlessly about "Preparedness" and "Americanism" while disagreeing only theatrically. The satire targets **early 20th-century political posturing**, particularly regarding preparedness debates (likely WWI-era military readiness). Henry's Yiddish-inflected English reinforces the immigrant perspective critiquing American political hypocrisy. The lower cartoon appears to mock a "pacifist" professor, contrasting peaceful rhetoric with violent impulses. **Point**: American politicians are interchangeable frauds who obscure identical positions with bombastic, lengthy speeches and patriotic window-dressing.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“'T guess ‘doc’ was right about this being a good way to I bet I'm ten gallons lighter than I was.” reduce. crowd by the wedding—there is always a joker in a crowd of people so sure like in a pack of cards—will holler out, ‘tell us another story!” and everybody will laugh and you laugh with them. Then you tell them that talk is cheap and that silence is golden, and you will sit down and everybody will be happy and clap.” “But, Gott in Himmel, Hen- ry, where's the speech?” de- manded Markowitz in aston- ishment. “The whole time you tell me to say a lot of things about speeching, but not a woid from the real speech.” “What do you want a reg- cler speech for?” demanded Henry. “The people come to the wedding to have a good time. You ain’t a politician, one of them speakers after a dinner with a fancy white shoit and long velvet tongue in front what goes all over the country before the nominations! Oser! You ain't even one of them strong s ses them: and politician questions on express wagons, election time. Them kind what speech and save the country with one hand and feel for a politician job with the other, while they kick the party on the other side into pieces with their feet. A long specch should get printed not speeched like by the smart fellers in Congress. I don’t believe in regeler long——" “Henry!” interrupted Markowitz, “you stand here and make fun from long speeches and the whole time you keep on talking like a phonograph with a self-starter and no stopper. I bet you could make one of them politi- cians speeches just. like the Republicans or Dem- ocrats. Only you ain't in politics.” “ Politics! — Republic- Democrats! All the repeated Henry, There is so ans! same!" mocking] much difference between the Republicans and Democrats like between a nickel and_ five pennies. They only look different. And the whole time they talk different. When one says it’s night, the other says it’s day. But it’s the same date on the calendar.” “Go on, Henry!” said Markowitz sar- castically; “ you know so much about poli- Professor Percy Pistol Hotspur—The Pacifist, gentlemen, is tics just like my Minnie knows about pin- ocle. There ain’t no difference between the two parties? What about Prepared- ness and Americanism?” “Preparedness! Americanism!” shout- ed Henry excited]; in’t both parties talking about the same thing? only when the Democrats commence and say low ‘ are,’ the Republicans say higher Then the Democrats com- ns what don’t t to be left with a stock of voters without jobs, at- tach extra size needles to their speechers tongue records, and from Long Branch, New Joisy, to Seattle, V ington, they talk the Republican Prepare Platform so loud that they got enough wind to wave all the flags in the whole America. But what do you think the Democrats do? They buy out all the flags and make Americanism their platform. Then the Republicans “What is this a bobe meise without an end?” impatiently interrupted Marko- witz, as he turned toward the factory door, “I asked you to prepare for me a speech for a wedding, and you mix it up with politic. I think I'll get up by the wedding and say, ‘masel tov’ to the young couple, and that’s all “Tt will be lucky for all of us,” mur- mured Henry under his breath as Marko- witz closed the door behind him. It takes an old bachelor several years to realize that he is obsolete. Why, at the mere thought of ar invading enemy my irresistible desire is to annihilate him with my very hands! comicbooks.