Judge, 1916-05-13 · page 11 of 28
Judge — May 13, 1916 — page 11: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several short satirical pieces typical of early 20th-century American humor: **"Without Mercy"** mocks newlyweds' financial naïveté—the husband boasts marriage is economical, while the wife casually buys theater tickets for tomorrow, undermining his point. **"She Took Him Literally"** jokes about miscommunication: a husband who stops "dictating" spending to his wife discovers she took *written notes* instead, suggesting she'll use them against him later. **"Truth in a Garden"** presents social commentary: two children from different economic classes (one wealthy, one poor) play together. The poor girl assumes the beautiful garden exists *because* the boy is rich, revealing how economic disparity shapes children's understanding of the world. **"Ominous"** satirizes government overreach—two working-class men worry that if cities provide free public baths, authorities will eventually *mandate* them, reflecting period anxieties about state intrusion into private life. The page reflects early 1900s concerns: marriage dynamics, class differences, and government expansion.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Husband—I've just taken a couple of seats for that new show, dear. be on time for once. when the other feller is playing. Once when I sneezed, he looked kranckheit at me instead of saying gesundheit, so I got mad and com- menced to walk away. “But he hollered at me ‘Fore!’ ‘Fore!’ just like an auctioneer. I toined around, mad like anything and hollered back ‘what for?’ but he got madder yet, so I walked the other way. Then another feller, the jealous man with knee-pants from the Green Com- mittee, commenced to holler at me also ‘Fore!’ Fore!’ I did not know what to do. I felt so small that I could hide myself in one of the holes, but Dr. Laitin ran over to me and explained that ‘Fore’ means look out. You bet that I will look out for his lots! He also told me that it ain't polite to talk by the links. That a golf player saves up his language and lets it out afterwards.” “You're right, I think they do,” remarked Henry sarcastic: and returned to his ledger. ally Just Grand “Tsn’t it just grand to be dining together without a chaperon?” purred the young bride in the dining-car. “I should say so! Marriage is certainly a great economy returned the elated groom. She Took Him Literally “Do you dictate to your wife about spending money?” “Yes, but I stopped; she took too many notes.” WITHOUT Wifey—How nice ! The tickets are for tomorrow. MERCY “cheaper to board.” The dainty feminine creature flitted along the walks and across the grass; taking toll of blossoms where she listed. There was no rerboten. The boy followed rather stolidly, accepting the care of the flowers when the bunches grew too large for the smaller hand At last the little girl seated her- self on a bench and rested her curly head against a tree. Her blue eyes, resting upon the beauty before them, glowed with appreciation. “Ob-h-h! The be-yu-tiful gar- den!” she sighed. Then—turning to the boy—‘ It’s because you are rich that you have ly flowers—isn’t it, Billy?” id the boy, stolid as “Tt’s because we plant the —H. Lee McAllister. Ominous Weary Mike—I see dey is pro- vidin’ free baths in some of de cities. Truss-rod Pete— ! De next ting dey’ll be makin’ it compulsory. I'll start to dress at once. Truth in a Garden WO children played in a Southern garden. the garden was a marvel of color and beauty. It surrounded the home of the boy whose parents were called “very well to do.” The little girl was the only child of a mother who found it Husband—Fine! We'll It was spring; and CHERRIES ARE RIPE! ‘ comicbooks.com