Judge — May 13, 1916 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

AAA 5 BABIES WAR 1 break my head to get orders, them loafers want to have fun at my expense. What are you standing there like a /emech? Hurry up and find out who done it!” “Who donc it,” repeated Henry. “It’s done! but the question is who commenced it.” “Ain't I got a right to commence anything | want in my own factory?” maintained Marko- witz excitedly. ‘Maybe I must ask the price committee if I——" “What price committee, woss price commit- tee!” interrupted Henry mockingly. “It was Benny the shipping cloik! He saw me get the spool and when it came into the factory like a Zeppelin bombe he thought I was fooling with him and that you were away, so he re- toined it. But I tell you, Max, you made a fine shot!” “Was it?” asked Markowitz in a softened tone of voice. “You ought to see me yesterday by the links!” “You by the links!” exclaimed Henry excitedly. “If you would tell me that you was playing by the Russian ballette I would believe more than that you was playing golf! How? Where? What?” “You know Dr. Sam Laitin, the dentist, what sells real estate?” asked Markowitz. “Well, he loincd me how to play yesterday by the Bunker Golf Links, which is ten minutes by the real estate dentist’s otomobile from the Nuspot restricted lots, which he sells only to exclusive people and friends. He is only a member of a dozen lodges and societies. Oh, Henry! You ought to see me hit the ball! I hit it so hard that I send a little real estate ahead of me every time. One feller who said he was on the Green Committee with knee-pants, he must be one of them fellers that get green from jealousy when they see a strong player like myself what melds a hole every time he plays with a club, begged me not to play so strong. He said if I will, he will put me out. What a jealous crowd! But you know, Henry, what my sample carrier, I mean my cad. die and I, know about golf in our little fingers they’ll never have in their whole heads. Before I even addressed the ball it was delivered right in the hole. I made eighteen holes in forty-six deals! And——" “That’s enough!” interrupted Henry sarcastically. “I can see by the way you talk that you're a regular golf player, just like a fisherman ain’t a regular fisherman until he catches his fish with his tongue. Is golf a better game than pinocle?” “Nonsense, Henry!” replied Markowitz. ‘Golf ain’t a o game, it’s a walk! Walking is the business of golf and playing is only a side line; just like a druggist’s business is postal cards, with drugs on the side. You ought to see me take them Hazards!” “Hazards?” questioned Henry. “What is Hazards, a medi- cine?” “Hazards is something what’s put in the game to make it harder,” answered Markowitz. “Just like partners by pinocle or lawyers by contracts. The only difference is that you can’t talk like to them partners or lawyers. I tell you, Henry, golf ain't easy. You dasent say a woid. I think the foist golfer w: f and dumb. Every time the dentist-doctor friend I wanted to tell him that he would go bate, he would look at me like I would have sold him one of his own lots! He said it ain’t right by golf to move your lips or even think of a hard woid SUSPICIOUS Percival de Peyster—\ say, my good man, will you lend me your wrench? Taxi chauffeur—Nothing doin’. Dat's de way I got it. comicbooks.com