Judge, 1916-04-22 · page 11 of 28
Judge — April 22, 1916 — page 11: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page satirizes **immigrant working-class perspectives on American labor and education**. The main dialogue features characters with Yiddish-inflected English (Markowitz, Henry) debating whether teachers have easy jobs. Markowitz argues teachers work minimally—just "push chalk and talk"—then enjoy constant vacations and checks. Henry counters that teachers actually work exhaustingly hard, managing dozens of rowdy children and needing extensive education. The satire targets **class resentment and ignorance**: Markowitz's dismissive view reflects working-class frustration with visible leisure time, while Henry's defense exposes the actual demands teachers face. The "kibitzer" (busybody) insult adds authentic ethnic humor. Below, a separate section titled "Three Alibis—A Confession" humorously reframes the Adam and Eve story as three perspectives avoiding blame for the Fall, likely mocking how people rationalize moral failures. The Kansas Editorial Association query about marrying editors is lighter social satire about regional gender dynamics.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
babies and second mortgages. It’s a shame what kind of teachers they got, that loin them notting!”” “If Lester has got a bad head, is that the teacher’s business?” argued Henry. “Whose business then? What do they do a whole day?” retorted Mar- kowitz, sarcastically.‘ Push chalk and talk! And they go home three o’clock ea banker. And after a couple of days chalking and talking, they get a couple of days’ rest, witha check. And after a couple of months they get a couple of weeks’ rest with another check. And when they get tired resting, they get a couple of months’ vacation to woik off that tired feeling. A teacher's life is a sandwich of vacations and checks with a little chalk on the side. One thing I made up my mind, Lester and Florence got to be teachers. I don’t want my children to woik so hard like me. Did you ever see Rose Dix, that pretty little teacher that lives It’s a pleasure to look on—— you talk like a kibetzer?” interrupted Henry. “You know so much about teachers like a bachelor about babies, I would like to sce you with only a mouth—a teacher’s hands ain't allowed no more—go ith forty or fifty little loafers, with tongues, hands and feet that always like to be busy! You only got two kids, and sometimes by supper you get so mad with them that you can’t eat; and if a teacher is got them by the dozen you call it ¢: So easy may the Tsar of Ru: have it for the rest of hi “What if they do a little woik, don’t they get paid for it?” demanded Markowitz. “Yes,” retorted Henry. “A street cleaner, when he commences to push a broom, gets more wages than when a teacher, like you say, commences to push chalk. Do you know how long they got to loin to be a teacher and what they got to know? A manicure goil, what has she got to loin? How to shine a couple of finger tips and get a tip herself. A typewriter has got to know how to play the piano a little on the machine, and laugh when the boss laughs. Why even a lady in the libry’s only got to know how to punch cards and that George Eliot was a lady! But a teacher! A teacher has got to know everything! Why a volcano smokes and why a camel don’t drink; why an apple falls down and gets rotten, instead of falling up and going to Heaven; why Columbus transferred on the next doo “Ma in a room west instead of ——" “IUs about time you got a tra like a videne!” interrupted Mr. Shapiro, Henry’s father, who had just entered with Louis Marcus. ‘Don’t waste no time. Get out the instrumenten and let’s play.’ And here the discussion closed and the auction commenced. A THE May mecting of the Kansas Editorial Association there will be a series of papers by Kansas women entitled, “If I had to do it all over again, would I marry‘a Kansas editor?” This opens up a new line of inquiry. It seems to be taken for granted that any Kansas editor can be married. A possible refusal snot even considred. Is this evidence of the general all-around supineness of sas editors, or of the great beauty and charm and general irresistible qualities of Kansas women? sfer yourself, and stop talking Query THE CALL OF THE WILD THREE ALIBIS AND—A CONFESSION The Apple: I could do nothing. The beautiful woman there took me gently and without greed. urally I supposed that I was only fulfilling my destiny in being eaten. If there be any blame it is upon the woman. The Serpent: It was the devil in me that made me do it. The woman looked so credulous that I could not forbear. It was her fault. I did not force her to it. The Man: I am not to blame. The woman charmed me. I did not think that evil could come from her. Perhaps I should have clubbed her and driven her away, but it didn’t occur to me at the time. The Woman: Yes, 1 am to blame. The serpent beguiled me, the apple was swect and good, and I gave of it to the man because Tloved him —H.W. Dee. Knew Perfectly Well The small daughter was industriously ironing her doll clothes when her mother entered. his isn’t work. And if the Lord does sce me, he knows per- fectly well this iron is cold.” His Vile Disposition : ay, Mr. Gloom, and——" “Well, you didn’t make it, did * snapped J. Gloom. “Then, what are you bragging about it for?” Fuller comicbooks.com