Judge, 1916-04-01 · page 6 of 28
Judge — April 1, 1916 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several unrelated humorous pieces typical of early 20th-century satirical magazines: **Top cartoon**: Two divers being pulled by an octopus—illustrating the "Some Salesman!" anecdote below about a facial beauty product salesman whose backhanded compliment backfires when the woman reveals she's exactly the manipulative type suited to his dishonesty. **"In Summer—In Winter" poem**: Social commentary on human inconsistency. The narrator complains about summer heat, then winter cold—unable to be satisfied regardless of season. It's satire of perpetual human discontent. **"Erudition" section**: Mockery of newspaper readers who glean trivial celebrity gossip (movie stars' clothing, grooming products, cars) while believing they're gaining meaningful knowledge. It satirizes tabloid culture and shallow reading habits. **Bottom cartoon**: A gender-relations joke. The dialogue contrasts masculine bravery (facing death) with the supposedly greater challenge of dealing with women romantically—mocking both male toughness mythology and female manipulation stereotypes. The page reflects early 20th-century concerns: consumerism, celebrity culture, gender dynamics, and the unreliability of mass media.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
—_ that you have been so candid. It is perfectly evident to me that you are just the kind of a person that I could not marry, and here I have been laboring under the delusion that you were—oh, well, what’s the use?” She got up. She went over to him and grabbed him by both arms: “Just what do you mean?” she said. “T mean that I cannot marry you.” She folded her arms about him and pressed his head down upon her shoulder, while the light of a sudden resolve came into her face: “Tut, tut, my dear boy,” she said, “don’t you know that I am just the kind of a girl that as big a liar as you are ought to marry?” —Chesterton Todd. Some Salesman! “I can see at a glance, Madam,” said he, “that you would not be interested in the preparation I am selling, except possibly as a gift to some of your neighbors.” “What are you selling?” she inquired, with interest. “A facial beauty preparation, Ma- dam,” he replied. In Summer—In Winter AST summer when the mercury Stood “ Ninety in the shade,” And when, indeed, the hundred mark Quite frequently it made, I sat around and fumed and sweat And longed for zero days— I swore I never more should get The winter travel craze. made the ice cream vendor rich, The Bath House throve on me, said “the coldest of cold snaps A real godsend would be.” ‘The winter time has come at last, The world is white with snow, The mercury has gone down, down As far as it can go. I never in my life have felt So grouchy or so glum, The water pipes are frozen up The gas is on the bum. I'm going down to Dixie Land This evening by Express, And am I happy over that? LIKE to read the papers every day; from them I learn The truth and nothing but the truth, for which my spirits yearn. [ learn what kind of garters hold the movie actor’s socks; I learn what kind of derby lids they wear upon their blocks; T Iearn the kind of face massage the movie actress uses; [ learn the kind of corset that the actress’ midriff bruises; I learn the kind of dentrifice the grinning actor sprinkl Upon his prophylactic brush with all the newest wrinkles; I learn the kind of powder that milady actress wears Upon her mobile countenance to keep it free from cares; I learn the kind of car she drives—the ginkess on the screen— And in what style and make of shoe her tootsy-woot is seen. All this I learn by reading well the papers every day—— It keeps one strictly up to date upon one’s pilgrim way. —Strickland Gillilan. Peru laid off her minister to the United States on account of hard times—so it wasn’t a treasure of indelible Incas. Cynthia—It takes a brave man, Jack, to deliberately face death to get a cross. — Jack—Oh, yes! but Well now I just guess yes! it takes a braver man to deliberately face a woman and get the double cross! —Lida Keck Wiggins. comicbooks.com