Judge — April 1, 1916 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Pca much, work! waste pecifc three re for t was rove have > heat. Stories with Smiles Safety First in London—H. Kohlsaat, the Chicago publisher, registered at a hotel in London and was assigned to a room on next to the top floor, The fol- lowing morning he rang for a bell boy. When there was no response to the second call he lifted the telephone receiver and waited in vain for “Are you there?” Fail- ablish any communication with the office, he dressed and started tor the office to register indignation. ‘The elevator wasn’t running. He began to walk down. On the fourth landing he met a housemaid and asked in strong Chicago language what was the matter with the hotel. “Well, sir, you see, sir,” came the answer, “the Zeppelins were reported and we were all ordered to the cellar for safety.” Then Mr. Kohlsaat’s language grew still stronger, and he completed his remarks by saying: “Well, I’m on the next to the top floor, and 3 wasn’t warned.” * was the bland reply, “but you see, si pa don’t come under the employers’ liability act, sir.’—Pittsburg Chronicle- Tdegraph. Saving His Excuses —‘*How would you like to go with me on a fishing trip in a few weeks?” the fat plumber asked his friend, the thin carpenter. “Td like it all right,” the carpenter returned, “but I am afraid it is out of the question.” “Why?” “Lcouldn’t think of an excuse to give my wife for going out of town at this time.” “Haven't you any good excuses at. all . but I don’t want to use them just now.” “Why not?” “Well, to tell the truth, Tam saving them up for house-cleaning time.” —Vongstown Telegraph. Home Ties—aA sedate banker of Ham- ihon, Canada, was sitting in his office one morning when s ten-year-old hopeful drifted in, bearing with him an expression of unutterable gloom. “Anything gone wrong, boy?" interro- gated the financier. “Wh: your age you ought to be cheerful all the time.” “Lknow it, Frank; I know it,” responded the youngster. “I’m doin’ the best I can; but, honest, 1 had a terrible time up at the house with your wife this morning.” Saturday Evening Post. Preparedness — Mr. obliged to stop over-night at a small country hotel. He was shown to his room by the boy the place afforded, a colored am glad there’s a rope here in case of commented Mr. Tompkins, as he surveyed the room, “but what's the idea of putting a Bible in the room in such a Prominent place?” “Dat am intended foh use, sah.” the “in case de fire am too fi foh yo’ to make yo” escape, sah.” Magazine. Tompkins was replied advanced Harper's Dreams of Wealth —“If I came into amillion pounds,” said Pat to his workmate. T'd go to wan o’ thim big hotels, and I'd OngAT BEAR SPRING WATER the case st lana wopered Rawles, (ABYE.) Foods, San- itation and Health Splitting Headaches— For No Reason At All HESE puzzling headaches are due fre- quently to intestinal absorption of toxic substances (auto-intoxication) without appar- ent constipation. Nujol is particularly valuable in such cases, be- cause it has the property of absorbing and remov- ing intestinal toxins, besides giving safe and effective relief in most cases of periodic and chronic constipation. Nujol is not a purge nor a laxative. It acts in effect as a mechanical lubricant. It prevents the intestinal contents from becoming hard and so facilitates the normal processes of evacuation. Most druggists carry Nujol, which is sold only in pint bottles packed in cartons bearing the Nujol trademark. If your druggist does not carry Nujol, accept no substitute. We will send a pint bottle prepaid to any point in the United States on receipt of 75c.—money order or stamps. Write for booklet, ‘The Rational Treat- ment of Constipation.” Address Dept. 13. STANDARD OIL COMPANY (New Jersey) Bayonne New Jersey REG.US PAT. COPY THIS SKETCH Yet me ere what you can do with it Itustrators and cartoonists ern from $200 S125 a week or more My practical symem a personal Tndivitusl lessoas hy mall wil! develop our talent" Filicen year succes sll work for oe ws: WHITE (> Look and Wear Vattey GEMS freien MY Are being worn by the wealthiest people everywhere.Stand acid and fire diamond eat. 80 bo bard they scratch o Gle end cot oi twenty-five padyou jeu hens wondertl gems in py sty! etd K, slid fold regal ar di —by express—charges prepaid, so wh can eco and wear thers Defers you buy theme Wrilejor bi lh ated cataeg and Free Trial Ofer WHITE VALLEY GEM CO., 819 Walsin Bldg, Indianapolis, Indiana 10Centsa Pe Eom ter Ine corm WoRLITZER Free be per demrenen eating a eee sears sees brtaes OMEIKE’ PRESS CUTTING BUREAU R send you all newspaper clippings which may aj pear about you, your friends, or any subject on which you may want to be “up to date.” Every newspaper and eriodical of importance in the United States and Burope is searched. ‘Terms, $5.00 for 100 notices. HENRY ROMEIKE, 106-110 Seventh Ave., N.Y. comicbooks.com