Judge, 1916-01-15 · page 11 of 28
Judge — January 15, 1916 — page 11: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page collects several brief satirical pieces typical of Judge's humor: **"A Palm Beach Financier"** (top cartoon): A wealthy couple displays two new cars. The joke satirizes wealth during inflation—she bought them because car prices are rising, so she's "investing" in vehicles as a hedge against economic decline. It mocks the illogical spending habits of the rich. **"Time"**: A philosophical essay mocking the traditional personification of Time as an old man with a scythe. The satire suggests Time should be female because women's ages are inscrutable. It catalogs varieties of "Time" (Good Time, Hard Times, etc.), ultimately deflating the concept through absurdist humor. **"Sherlock"**: A detective story parody where a Sherlock Holmes-type deduces a woman is married not from her ring, but because she immediately takes the lead while dancing—satirizing women's assertiveness or marital behavior. **"Even Then"**: Political satire comparing ancient Assyrian bull carvings to modern political propaganda posters, suggesting both served identical propagandistic purposes across millennia.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
++ 4 She—May has two new cars. He—Why the deluge? LAUGHS BY THE WAY By WILBUR DPD, NESKIT Time IME IS something to miss trains by, and to buy things on. It is often represented by a picture of a bald-headed old individual carrying a huge scythe in one hand and an hour glass in the other. He is supposed to flop the hour glass up- side down at 12 P.t, or A.M. New Year’: Eve. The scythe is supposed to represent his propensity for cutting people off in the heyday of their li It is a mistake to represent Time as a man who cannot recommend anybody's brand of hair restorer, but can sit fora picture of a man who attributes his hale old age to malt whiskey and pipe tobacco. Time should be represented by a lady, because nobody can tell by looking ladies nowadays how old they are. There are also several varieties of Time—among them being Good Time, High Old Time. Dull Time, Meal Time and Bed Time. Of the plural varie- ties of Time may be mentioned Hard Times, which is sufficient to think of at the present time. ‘Time is measured by clocks, also by waiting for street ¢ nd by taxicab meters, which if not care- fully watched will register all the time there id draw on several scons of eternity. Another interesting variety of Time is the L ime. which has.to do with intoxicating liquors, good-night and getting to work late. Sherlock The great detective, laying aside professional cares for the evening. is attending a dance. Introduced to a beautiful woman, he asks her lance with him and she graciously consents. You have been married several years,” he murmurs, after a couple rounds of the floor. * How could you guess that?” she asks. “Ta wedding ring. Do I look like a married woman?” “Not at all,” he replies, gallantly. “But I knew you were mar- ried the moment we started to dance. You at once began doing the not wearing my leading.” Even Then “T've been reading a lot of Assyrian history in my ‘Library of the World’s Knowledge in Sixteen Volumes,’” says the man who is devoting one hour each evening to acquiri formation and culture. “What especially interests me is the fact that almost all the pictures of the walls have big carvings of bulls on them! Seems to me as if A PALM BEACH FINANCIER She—She got them because the price of cars is going up. the ancient Assyrians couldn't look in any direction without seeing a bull. Wonder why they had them.” “Oh,” yawns the man who knows everything, “they served the same purpose as the political posters we paste on our Ww Same old bull, vou know.” Drawing the Line “Is the play one which you would permit your daughter to attend?” we ask of the lady who has heen expounding her views on the necessity for handling vital topics in the drama. “Certainly,” she replies, “but [wouldn't allow my son to see it.” Mater—What are you doing here, Harold? _ Harold—I—er—I just thought maybe you'd lend me a few cookies. comicbooks.com