Judge — December 11, 1915 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

do that—but not all of them have the good sense to read all the news that’s fit to print. ‘This judge did, evidently; at any rate he had the good sense to rule that the baby is the big noise. Our institu- tions are safe! For the baby, with costs! The baby—not the ejectment—a howling suc- cess. A Daniel come to judg- ment!—Albert E. Hoyt. In the Same Boat AM had come home from school—hungry as usual. Tossing his spelling-book on the kitchen-table, he ha to the pantry and began an invest n of cake-be boards, and cooky-jar, Suddenly, the back door-bell rang. Leaving his unprofit- able search, Samuel went to-answer, On the steps stood an unshaven, long-haired man whose clothes needed a tailor and a laundry worker. ‘I'm hungry,” began the stranger in a low, aggrieved “and should like somethin’ to eat.” Well, so’m 1,” confided the boy been a huntin’ for ten minutes an’ hai ut you know I've t found @ thing!" Slang AX EASTMAN lectured recently in New York to a very select young ladies’ seminary,on slang, taking examples the choicest bits culled from the daily vocabulary of another young ladies’ seminary. He gave as his opinicn that slang was virile and expressive—an altogether admir- able means of presenting certain forms of thought. In this is found a parallel to Victor Hugo's views on the subject. If slang is,as Hugo says,a growth or development of a language, it is surely a healthy symptom. — A language without slang would be, to borrow a phrase from O. Henry, as lifeless as a beef-stew And even a Very Select young ladies’ seminary may have this philological shoot grafted. to its trunk of pure English without suffering any harm therefrom. Slangisthe em- bodiment of the hodie tibi, ras mihi spirit. It ups will not . Out of the without an onion. rgon yesterday is current today, and will be obso- lete tomorrow. Only the best, the choicest bits re- main a perma- nent addition to iy the language. $1 °° EACH BENEFIT |} ) | RED CROSS “FUND: And it is best to _— endure the great CasSTer mass of un monstrosi FACE VALUE Mrs, Peck—Josephus, what in the world do you mean by chuckling to yourself in that manner? Josephus—It says here that 192 wives brought divorce cases into court and not a single husband appeared to protest. a fe y jewels to help make ly the most complete abides for a day in order to save glish language still more emp! medium for expressing thought in the world As of Today J all through the house ven a ature Were the stockin, y with care, Tn hopes soon would be there?” Had “Mamma in her kerchief and Lin my cap Just settled ourselves for a long winter's nap?” Not so you coukl notice! Each child had gone out To its favorite movie, somewhere round about, Instead of being tucked p in their beds With “visions of sugar plums” filling their heads, They sat in dark parlors while many a scans Of bloodshed and horror flicked over They hadn't a moment for Santa Claus cuff, But had you referred to such silly “old stufl” ‘They each would have sneered at your old-fashioned notions And turned to their pickfordesque, chaplinoid potions. And mother and [ had no time for it, nay, We knew where they'd put on a new Bus! l Grandma, who commonly: stayed with the house, Was out for a regular four-reel carouse With some other damsel of similar age, Who still had a leaning to go on the stage. through the house” mouse,” “hristmas” when “ a creatui stirring, not even Don’t ever expect to find folks in their hay With visions of joy for the following day! nights b Instead, hunt around ‘mid the neighboring flickers Where Pickford and Chaplin are handing out snickers; Where “cowboys” no cattleman ever woul hire, Are hanging some villain with grimaces dire! —Strickland Gillilan