Judge — October 30, 1915 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Cactus Center's War Talk OWN here in Cactus Center we was called on by a gent D Whose lay was: “ Preparation; or a Plea for Armament.” We turned out strong to hear him, for he sure was known to fame, And we welcome the distinguished and are glad to meet the same. The sheep men, ‘crost the dead line, miles or more. And the cowmen sat beside ‘em, with ni in forty gettin’ sore. We was out to be enlightened by this big man, heaven-sent, Whose talk wa Armament.” Preparation; or a Plea for He spoke to us two hours on diplomacy and war; He talked of Europe's battles, till we heard the cannon roar; He talked of gallant birdmen, and of dreaded submarines, And of all the things that enter into jern war machir And be says: “If war should hit us, right this instant, while 1 talk, We would have to fight with popguns, and with bullets made of chalk. For where, in all this nation, could we find men armed to kill? Just answer that,” he hollers, and the hall become quite still It was still for thirty seconds, or perhaps ‘twas forty-five, When Bear Hawkins rose up, slowly, and he says: “We allus strive To answer any question, so we'll show what might depend On this town of Cactus Center if a war note e’er was penned.” ‘Then we all stood, poco pronto, and en massey, and all that, And in each hand, upward pointed, was a large and deep-voiced gat And we fired a rousin’ volley—and out the window went The dad of “Preparation; or a Plea for Armament.”"—Arthur Chapman When the Millennium Arrives “WOUR HONOR,” said the eminent attorney, “I could have objected to the introduction of the testimony of this witness, and on account of a technicality with which you are familiar I am sure you would have sustained my objection. But Land my client do not_ask the honorable men comprising this jury for a favorable verdict if they must be influenced in reach- ing said verdict through the technic: suppression of vitally important evi- dence. We ask for justice, only, and if the honorable jurors, after mature deliberation, decide that my client's cause is not just, we both hope they will render a verdict in favor of our opponents. And I want to add that the scales of Justice will rever show a true balance as long as they are clogged with the debris of Technicality. “Neither shall I crass-examine the witness. He has resided inthis community from boyhood, and his is beyond the question of a doubt; so it is not my intention to harass him by attempting to en- snare him in a tangle of verbal leger- demain, You may call the next wit- ness." —M. R. Dinkins. His Achievement “ REHOLD our centenarian; One hundred years, next Ma: “What has he done, if I may ask?” “Oh, well, he came to stay.” —Tennyson J. Daft. Watch your step—when putting your best foot forward. Advertising expressions: Next to reading matter. Wanted Help OUR-YEAR-OLD MAC had been playing with the hammer and mislaid it. Daddy, who is sometimes rather stern, called upon the youngster to bring it. His best friend, a neighboring lady, was helping him search for it and said, “Try to think where you were when you played with it, Mac. Think hard!” The boy, appreciating the gravity of the situation, replied most seriously, “You think, too!” He Wasn't Looking Floorwalker—(To man who seems undecided which way to go)— Are you looking for something? Party addressed—No, sir. I’ve lost my wife. IPOD TOMAS PEMO Doctor—Stick out your tongue farther. Boy—Can't. It’s fastened t’ my back. comicbooks.com