Judge, 1915-07-31 · page 18 of 28
Judge — July 31, 1915 — page 18: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three separate pieces of humor from *Judge* magazine: **"A Hot One"**: A brief joke mocking a woman (Miss De Pass) who criticizes young men as "fast" (morally loose). Miss Kaustic's retort suggests De Pass herself has been "chasing" young men, making her a hypocrite. **"Young Donald's Surprise"**: A longer comic story about a boy visiting a farm who can't identify a dehorned cow because it now has horns (after dehorning procedures became standard practice). His misidentification and panicked reaction to the cow's sound creates the humor—playing on children's literal thinking and rural unfamiliarity. **"Passing Fair"**: A brief pun-based joke. A man claims a woman is "as pretty as she could be"—which sounds like a compliment but actually means she's as unattractive as one could possibly be while still existing. The overall page reflects early 20th-century magazine humor: wordplay, gentle social mockery, and domestic/rural scenarios treated as amusing.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A Hot One ISS DE PASS cries out, **Alas! The young men of to-day Are very curt and awfully pert— They are so fast and gay.’ Miss Kaustic spoke—it is no joke— She surely meant no pun— “You ought to know how fast they go, Since you've been chasing one.’’ Bill Smart. Young Donald’s Surprise ‘Young Donald was keenly interested as he was taken on a tour of inspection around the model farm, but expressed particular admiration for the dairy department and the cows. With great reluctance he left them to return home for the Christmas festivities, which resulted in his acquiring a horn that gave arich, deep tone. Soon after Christ- mas he returned to the model farm for his second visit, where he discovered a strange animal among his favorite cows. “It is just like a cow," he explained to his Both girls—Oh, that's a fine picture of you; but isn’t it awful of me! uncle, ‘‘but it has long, funny things on its head, so it can’t be a cow." The scientific farmer explained the long things as horns and described all the advantages of de- horning cattle, ending with the final assurance that the strange animal was really a cow with horns. Just then the new cow bawled loudly, and young Donald gasped with amazement; then he scampered hurriedly toward the house, yell- . ing lustily, “*Mothah, oh, mothah, come quickly! Uncle Bob's got a new cow with horns that blow!"" —H. C. Warren. SOE RaAA PASSING FAIR Ariadue—I thought you said she was pretty. A, Donis—I said she was as pretty as she could be.