Judge — July 31, 1915 — page 19: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Curbside Comments By OREOLA W. HASKELL Betsey Burrows, Suffragist Husbands 66TF WE cud git a national beury to Wash- ington to hand out life-sentenced pard- ners to all the old maids, and permit the females what ain’t satisfied with their per- ticular samples of soulmates to have occa- sional rummage sales of secondhand hus- bands, I reckon this here sufferingette busi- ness ’ud feel a considerable slump in the in- terest of them that’s whoopin’ loudest fur it now,’ says Baxty Beal, lookin’ to me to bust out laughin’ over his wit. We was to the Sunday school picnic down to Sedge Lake, a-restin’ easy in the shadder of the pines. “‘Is thet so?’’ I asks, kinder dry. ‘*So you calkerlate it’s grouchiness over either being guv a man or deprived of one that causes wimmen to git a smite on suffrage. T see you belorg to them noble gentlemen with complacent brows, allus dead certain the only interest in life fur the hull female creation is sumpin’ arrayed in a bifurcated garment and an outing shirt. How you and your ilk keep from gittin’ disapp'inting jolts occasional beats me. But I ain't a-goin’ to deny that husbands like other things ain’t hitched onto votes-for-women, tho’ not jest in the delikate way you put it, Baxty. ‘Stead of wishin’ to pitch their life pardners onto the scrap heap, suffergists is figurin’ out jest how to draw them closer by the help of mutooal interests. Of course men and wimmen has the home, the kids, their friends, books and amoosements, to say nothin’ of matrimonial scraps to use as conversational cuds, But after they've ripped their friends’ characters fore and aft a few times, this gits wore out asa topic and only comes up occasional, when Bill or Jane does some fool thing or gits sick or kites out to the world of seryphim. And agin, even the most dotingest. parents can’t talk more’n an hour ‘bout what their re- markable and unusual kids have said and did in one ordinary day. “‘Then, as the years go by, couples ain't rushin’ out every evening to joyfests. These git wore out, too, and most likely the cash fur ’em goes inter Susie’s music lessons or Jim's baseball togs. Of course people had ort to take reg’lar doses of the noble tho’ts of Shakespeare 'n’ O. Henry, but lots of men confines their readin’ to the sportin’ ye, THE MOD ~ oc Site on ERN WOMAN ‘%& page of the dailies and would streak it to the outer air some lively if their wives was to quote Browning. But polertics, which is composed of biographies allus popler with humans and with questions of daily livin’, like streets, schools, budgets, hous- ing, sanitation, food, fire protection and big national idees how to run the country better 'n’ better, is sumpin’ that don’t never git wore out. You kin talk and argy "bout ‘em from the day you're born till the day you slump inter the tomb. “‘They say that Western couples where women has the vote has been drawed to- gether by their political interests. Pa 'n’ ma reads the papers and discusts things 'n’ goes to meetings togither and talks free with all their friends togither and decides what to do togither. And out there good men that East is too fastidjus to go to po- THE AMBIDEXTROUS REPUBLIC litical conferences in booze parlors rouses up and is perfectly willing to be present in halls that has to be respectable ‘cause wim- men is present. Some husbands 'n’ wives, T s'pose, ‘ull row ‘bout polertics; but, Baxty Beal, they’re right on the fightin’ line now. So it strikes me all them hus- bands that are soul weary of*kitchen chat and sewing-circle jabber and sassiety slush ort to pray most. proditjus fur a widening of their spouses’ outlook on life. And al- ready some men has a good clutch on this idee, and, believe me, they ain’t no better boosters fur wimmen and the ballot." “‘Humph!"" says Baxty Beal. ‘‘If you kin git my wife Mandy to quit dirt, dress and disease as talk topics, I ain't above shoutin’ on your side. But in my opinion it can’t be did."” “Don’t despair,’’ says I, soothin’. “Tt has been did with others, why not with yourn? Ain’t she human?’’ “*Sometimes I ain't so sure,"’ says Baxty; but seein’ he was about to disparage Miss Beal, I riz with dignity and left him. Male Apathy ECAUSE some women are indifferent to the cause of woman suffrage, many antis are loudly maintaining that feminine apathy on the part of a few of the sex should operate to keep the whole body of women away from the paths that lead to the polls. Mr. Gompers, in a recent address, told of his attempts to arouse the men of Washing- ton, D. C., to a realization of the evils of disfranchisement. Thinking.it wrong that Washington men should be voteless, during months of residence in the city he sent out three hundred letters in a passionate appeal to the most prominent and intelligent of the residents, receiving in return exactly seven replies. Thinking, then, a mass meeting would be more effective, he secured a num- ber of well-known speakers, hired a hall, sent out countless invitations and many advertisements, and on the evening of the grand affair introduced his orators to a multitude of seventeen masculine crea- tures. Since apathy seems to be, then, a human rather than a feminine failing, but one that has never kept the mass of men from having rights conferred upon them, why it should be used as a club to stun the votes-for-women movement is clear only to the befogged and the be- fuddled. Fifth Avenue Votes NEW YORK suffragist, being given a list of ten names of voters who live on Fifth Avenue, went to canvass them with great trepidation, fearing to be overawed by haughty plutocrats. To her relief, she found that but two names were those of members of the millionaire class, the rest belonging to butlers, coachmen, housemen and even furnacemen. While the masters had departed to country joys, their employes were found at home. It further transpired that the Fifth Avenue vote, always al- luded to with fear, will be much diluted by intermixture with the ballots of those who work for the rich, and that, whatever the employers may feel, the employes are most heartily in favor of suffrage for wom- ankind.