Judge, 1915-07-03 · page 7 of 32
Judge — July 3, 1915 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is a humorous domestic fiction story, not political satire. The plot involves Miss Frey secretly embroidering Mr. Hobart's new golf shirt as a gift when Mrs. Hobart unexpectedly arrives. To conceal the compromising situation from Mrs. Hobart (who might be jealous), Miss Frey hides the shirt and flirts with young Parsons to distract him. The comedy hinges on social conventions: a single woman monogramming a married man's garment requires explanation to avoid scandal. The story escalates as Miss Frey must obtain an identical replacement shirt before shops close. The reference to "Pa Frey had left a leg at Gettysburg" invokes Civil War service, establishing the story's era (early 1900s). The humor relies on miscommunication, rushed complications, and the irony that both Mr. and Mrs. Hobart separately plan to secretly replace the "lost" shirt.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“Mother, | think Bobbie's awful mean. “It—it's for pa!’’ gasped Miss Frey, in sudden consternation. Pa Frey had left a leg at Gettysburg. Pinochle was his fa- vored form of athletics. Young Parsons’s iciness was polar. “I object to frivol- ous jests!’’ he hissed and jerked himself to his feet. A musical voice spoke from the steps. “What! Going so soon? Don’t let me drive you away." 2 Parsons wheeled. Miss Frey sprang up. She cut short, midway, acry of welcome and swiftly put the fateful garment behind her. Mrs, Hobart was mounting the steps; and if you'll stop to think it over, you'll admit explanation to another lady of how you happen to be monogramming her husband's new golf shirt, without her knowledge or consent, requires diplomacy. And the essence of diplomacy is time. Miss Frey had very little time— if she was to save young Parsons and stave off Mrs. Hobart. But she had her wits about her, had Miss Frey. She dropped the golf shirt into her chair. She concealed the golf shirt by sitting on it. She winked at her bosom friend—there are times when He plays tea party until he’s eaten all the crackers, ari’ then he says it’s a baby’s game.” a maiden is permitted to wink. Then she glanced at young Parsons from under de- murely drooping lashes. “Grace, you heaven-sent angel!’’ she murmured. ‘‘Tell a very foolish boy he'll never get nice surprises if he asks too many questions."" “Oh, the deuce, you know!"’ stammered young Parsons—and looked foolish enough to meet her description. Mrs. Hobart nodded brightly, but with a touch of envy. She had sighted the em- broidery silk and the needles, Why hadn’t she thought to monogram Hobart’s new shirt when he brought it home? Ten minutes later, Miss Frey, having dexterously rid herself of both callers, was racing for a trolley car, in order to get downtown before the shops closed. On a corner she encountered Hobart, coming home from the country club. What's the rush?" he demanded. Miss Frey flamed in justifiable wrath. “It’s your miserable golf shirt !"’ she blazed. “I've got to get a new one like it— and make good !"’ Beha Raye trash ""? Kelle—I really don't know ; but it sounds like Dolly Perkins, Have you been around with her much ? Then she sped on. Hobart for a second dazedly glanced at the re- treating figure. Then a light of remembrance and consternation filled his face. “Lord! and I'd forgotten I'd lost the thing!’’ he groaned. ‘‘Jupi- ter! but what'll Grace say if she finds I’m that footless? I’ve plumb got to get another and palm it on her as the original !"’ Then he ran after the flying Miss Frey. At about that time, one Wales, in golf toggery, including a patent shirt with an adjustable collar, was beaming upon a lady who had greeted him but recently as a mother in Israel might have greeted Herod, but who, taking a second glance, had fallen rapturously upon his breast. “Sure I like the golf shirt!"’ he comichooks.coyy)