Judge, 1915-07-03 · page 8 of 32
Judge — July 3, 1915 — page 8: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several short humorous pieces typical of early 20th-century American magazine humor: **"Egg View Notes"** is a gossip column about small-town characters (Cylindra Berger, Witt Larcom, Lem Bushnell). The jokes rely on local knowledge and gentle mockery—a jealous woman at movies, a musician out of sync with the orchestra, a mysteriously missing fire ladder. **"Out of the Mouths of Babes"** is a joke where a government official's son confuses weather bulletins with cyclone warnings—satirizing bureaucratic incompetence in a child's innocent misunderstanding. **"A Summer Sophistry"** is a poem claiming summer's arrival isn't proven by gardens, heat, or tourists, but by one fact: "dad has donned his Palm Beach suit"—mocking people's actual summer priorities versus romantic notions. **Bottom illustrations** show period inventions: a baby carriage made from auto tires, and a "roomy walking chair" (also tire-based). These demonstrate practical Depression-era resourcefulness. The overall tone is gentle, domestic Americana satire aimed at middle-class readers.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Egg View Notes YLINDRA BERGER patronized a picture show in Spring Ledge Saturday after. noon and has acted very jealous of the hero- . ine in the play ever since. Cylindra likes k to watch the men in the silent dramas, be. i cause when they scowl, she’s dead certain | they ain't doing it at her. a Witt Larcom, who competed in an ama- teur contest at a vaudeville show in Polly- § wog Friday night, by blowing some of his 1 favorite verses on a cornet, would have come back home a lucky prize-winner, if the orchestra hadn't made such miserable work of keeping time with him. The fire ladder mysteriously disappeared from the side of the lock-up Wednesday night, compelling Lem Bushnell, our mar- shal, to conduct an immediate, special and secret investigation. Yesterday he hurried into Erny Neff's barber shop, to try and find out from Erny if Milt Shirks’s cherries were ripe yet. —Lealie Van Every. Voice from bank —Hey, mister, yer oars are driftin’ away! Out of the Mouths of Babes Contented lover—That's all right. We don't need ‘em any more. Teacher—Children, what do we mean by a word and a blow? was saying. ‘‘Great eye you've got for operations entirely without pain. I want Johnny (son of government official)— | things that spell comfort! Why, I'm go-to get him to cut off my worthless son- Please, ma’am, them’s them cyclone-warn- Fi ing down to buy a mate for this un in the — in-law."’ ing bulletins dad sends out! morning!"* Moral—You never can ‘tell what'll boom trade in the gents’ furnishing line. A Summer Sophistry FAR summer's here! I know it not By fructifying garden plot, Nor by the lengthening of day, Nor bargain lingerie display; Nor by heat lightning in the sky, Nor window thrum of flippant fly; Nor yet by orchards bowed with fruit, Nor starved mosquito’s barbed salute. I know it not because I see Picnickers dotting mead and lea, Nor by the harvester who wields His sickle through appointed fields. Roomy walking chair for baby Not even by the crowd which pores, Exultant, over baseball scores; Nor by the advertised reliefs 3 Of prickly heat and sunburn griefs. I know it not by tourist tips On cheaply planned vacation trips, Nor by thermometer's report Of heat too fierce for work or sport. Ah, no! not by these have I read Sweet summer's certitude; instead, I know it’s here, beyond dispute, ’Cause dad has donned his Palm Beach suit. —Dorothy De Jugers. His Desire “I'm going down to the hotel,"’ said old man Bentover, ‘‘to consult that "ere cele- A delightful cradle for baby A good idea for a flower garden brated surgeon who advertises to perform WOMEN FIND USE FOR DISCARDED AUTO TIRES comichooks.colm