Judge, 1915-05-08 · page 7 of 24
Judge — May 8, 1915 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
The top cartoon depicts a submarine attack (likely WWI-era), with two sailors observing drowning victims, asking what pleasure people get from such destruction—dark commentary on the brutality of modern warfare. Below are three separate pieces: **"Suburbanites"**: A poem mocking the hypocrisy of suburban women who abandon rural propriety for city life, attending parties and dances while somehow "landing a millionaire"—satirizing changing social norms and women's newfound urban independence. **"No Chance"**: A joke about American overconsumption. A doctor warns against overeating; a statistician "counters" that one-third of Americans live in boarding houses—implying they eat communal meals, thus disproving the problem. The humor relies on absurdist logic. **"His Ailment"**: A con-man recognizes Sandstorm Smith, a wealthy Oklahoma cattle baron, and greets him warmly. Smith complains of depression—he's lost interest in gambling, buying city property, swindling people, or accepting obvious scams. The satire mocks wealthy Western businessmen as naturally inclined toward fraud and vice.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Submarine victim—Wot pleasure d’ ye suppose they git aht o’ it, Bill? Suburbanites HE MODEST violet no more In sweet seclusion dwells, But flaunts itself at tango teas, With giddy beaus and belles. The pearl of purest ray has left Its ocean bed below, And now at ball and opera Adorns a breast of snow. Suburban Lucy gayly gives The go-by to the farm, And to the wicked city takes Her girlish grace and charm Contrary to tradition, lo! She hurdles every snare, And fishing by the midnight arc, She lands a millionaire. Minna Irving. No Chance “The great trouble with the American people is that they eat too much,"’ said the doctor. “‘Nonsense!"' retorted the statis- tical person. ‘I can easily produce figures to prove that one-third of the American people live in board- ing houses."* SPRING PRACTICE His Ailment 66(LAD to see you, old boy! Glad to see you!"’ chortled the con- fidence man, ‘‘How are you, any- how?"" **All run down!" grimly replied Sandstorm Smith, the well-known cattle baron of Rampage, Okla., who is temporarily in our midst. ‘‘I don’t take no interest in life any more. I don’t care to match dollars with strange gents who smell of pore licker; I don’t feel able to buy the City Hall on the installment plan, paying a hundred dollars down; I haven't any ambition to beat wire tappers at their own game; I don’t feel any de- sire to get something for nothing; I hain't got sufficient strength left to tote a gold brick if somebody would give it to me, and I don’t feel the slightest inclination to get ac- quainted with total strangers who come snouting in without an invita- tion. Looks sorter like rain, off to the south’ard, don't it?’” —Tom P. Morgan. comicbooks.com