Judge — April 24, 1915 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“Oh, a society leader, is she?” The Triumph of Intimacy ‘OW ARTIFICE has grown passe And Nature holds unquestioned sway, I hope, my dear, to have you leave Your blue and purple wigs behind, And scorn the trappings that deceive And catch the eye of all mankind. Erase the rouge, the liquid white, The eyebrow pencil- ings so black; Forget the bella donna bright And leave the switch upon its rack. I promise you I will not flee— My love will stand the sudden jar; But, oh, ‘twill be a treat to me Just once to see you—as you are! —Berton Bratey. Bobby’s Fruitless Search Bobby heard his mother tell his father that her mother, who was ill, was in a comatose state and she must go to her at once. Bobby immediately ran for his geography and looked diligently for some time through it. Finally he brought it to his father and said, ‘Father, I can’t find the state of comatose in here. Will you?"’ Beauty in a Beastly Mood Doctor—Do you suffer from morning headaches? Debutante—Certainly I suffer. If I en- joyed them as I do a highball, I certainly shouldn't have consulted you. The Danger of It Mrs. Hokus—My husband says I have made another man of him. Mrs. Pokus—You'd better look out, or the first thing you know he'll be looking around for another man’s w'fe. “Yes; and she’s had good training, too.” AS SHE PASSED From John Smith’s Diary Noteing thatte eache shyppe brot toe our shores nothunge butte menne, we resolved toe brynge over some suiteable wyves from England, thatte ye new nation mighte notte be a stagge nation. Ye expense for these wyves we decided to lette ye husband pro- vyde accordinge to hys substance, therebye making itte a doenation. Satan Et Al Satan sat on the wall looking over into the Garden at Adam and Eve sitting in the shade of the first apple tree. “*‘Um—er,"’ he mused. ‘‘Two's company and three’s a crowd, but what else is to be done under the circumstances?"* Thereupon he butted in, and the world has been crowded ever since. Story of a Wicked City’s Life A man stops on Broadway and looks puzzled. Two boys stop. Three women and a child stop. Several men stop. A taxi stops. More men stop. A car stops. Two policemen arrive. Three taxis stop. A fight starts. The patrol is called. It knocks down{a boy. A woman faints. The ambulance is called. The reserves are called. The fire alarm is rung. The engines come. Broadway is closed to traffic. The man remembers the address and continues his walk up Broad- way. Charles Elkin, te “In what way ? “ She fought to get into society.” He Starts Things 6@TPHE kind of man that makes things go,” Appealed to Kitty Carter; “*Be he of humble rank and low, Or Knight of Star and Garter."’ “Then you should wed,"’ said Sister Flo, “*A liveried carriage starter.’" Even Worse Patrice—Is there anything as bad as being all dressed up and nowhere to go? Penelope—Yes; fixing for company and having nobody call. Uncle Solomon, of Slowtown, Says **Love may be blind, but marriage isa first-rate eye-opener."" __ SP,