Judge, 1915-03-20 · page 19 of 24
Judge — March 20, 1915 — page 19: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page mixes light humor with advertising. The left column contains several short satirical pieces typical of Judge's style: **"Spring Song"** mocks male romanticism—a young man claims to court one woman but confesses he tells the same sentimental lines to multiple girlfriends. The joke: the women are all engaged to other men anyway, so his "harmless" deception doesn't matter. **"Why Women Can't Run Automobile Factories"** satirizes gender roles through marital miscommunication. Mrs. Barnes, working in an office, leaves her husband waiting for lunch because she assumed he wouldn't return after she left. The implication: women's supposedly illogical thinking makes them unsuitable for industrial management. **Other brief pieces** ("The Son of a Gun," "He Could Prove It," "Miranda") are standard joke fare about wordplay and courtship. The right side contains a full-page **Prudential Insurance advertisement** celebrating record payouts in 1914, and a **Hotel Imperial advertisement** targeting New York visitors. The page is primarily advertising-driven content interspersed with genteel humor reflecting early 20th-century attitudes about gender and romance.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Spring Song THE spring a young man’s fancy OP only turns to thoughts of love,”’ inst his heart he cherishes his lady’s i love. a eos forth, in pensive mood, to seek his love’s abode; | He wears a sentimental air and clothes quite ala mode. But why prolong the story? This is the dreadful truth— - says the very selfsame thing to Irene, Maud and Ruth; Bat really he does no harm, for (this is en- tre nous) These very selfsame maidens are all en- gaged to you! —Eleanor Piatt Kearney. Why Women Can’t Run Automo- bile Factories IEN Mrs. Barnes made her getaway for the eight-fifteen express, with a few hasty directions concerning matters about the house and a good-by kiss, she re- minded Barnes that he had a luncheon date with her for one o’clock and that he must be at her office promptly. “T'll be there, dear,’’ he replied, and Mrs. Barnes made a dash for the station. Bares arrived at his wife's office twenty minutes late, through having been detained at a suburban crossing. James—his wife's office man—said that Mrs. Barnes had gone out about fifteen min- utes before and had left no word as to when she would return. Barnes sat down and waited. At two o'clock his wife arrived. “What are you doing here?’’ she asked. 'm waiting for you,’ he replied. “Didn't you know that I wouldn't be back after I had given you up and gone out?"’ “But you did come back. You are here now, aren't you?’’ “Yes; but didn’t you know that when I did come back, I would have had my lunch and that it would be useless for you to wait?” “Well—have you had your lunch?’’ “No, I haven’t!"* The Son of a Gun “It's an ill wind that blows’’. “Shut up!"* “It’s a long lane that has no’’—— “Cut it out!"* “You can lead a horse to water, but’’— “Cheese it!’ “What are you, for goodness sake?"’ “I'm a maxim silencer."’ He Could Prove It Mother—Son, I don’t believe you washed Your face at all. Small son—If you don’t believe me, look at the towel. Miranda I met Miranda at a dance And straight began to woo; She shot at me a killing glance— She's some revolver, too! 1 Sherer le made tasty and delightfol by asiag.sbiatt Beers Sampo ct bitters by thal, 29 ete a vlampe. "CW, anbeas Seta RS Se al te el eat HE greatest amount of paid-for life insurance ever secured ina single year by any company in the world— $518,963,821 was obtained during 1914 at the lowest expense-rate in its history by The Prudential STRENGTH OF GIBRALTAR Payments to policyholders were larger than ever before, $39,273,810.05 THE PRUDENTIAL INSURANCE COMPANY OF AMERICA Incorporated under the laws of the State of New Jersey FORREST F. DRYDEN, President Home Orrice, Newark, New Jersey Everybody is invited to visit the Prudential Exhibit on Life Insur- ance and Public Welfare, Panama- Pacific Exposition, San Francisco. HOTEL IMPERIAL ROBERT STAFFORD BROADWAY, 3ist TO 32nd STREET At Herald Square, the radial center of transportation to all parts of the city. One block from Pennsylvania Station, a few minutes from Grand Cen- tral Station, in the midst of the fashionable theater and shopping districts. A HOTEL HOME $1.50 A DAY AND UP Write for Booklet and Free Pocket Map of City.