Judge — March 20, 1915 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

MeELLow as MOONLIGHT WHISKY We do not claim to be exclusive in our desire to produce extraordinary whisky ---but somehow results seem to have credited us with that exclusiveness, Original Bottling Has Old Gold Label GEO. ‘A. DICKEL & CO,, Distillers NASHVILLE, “TENN: Waa MARLBOROUGH Broadway, Between 36th and 37th Streets IN THE VERY CENTER OF NEW YORK HIS famous hotel is known the world over; has all modern appoint- ments and is complete and up to date in all details. The most convenient loca- tion in New York, being but a few minutes to the leading theaters and department stores, a few minutes from the Pennsylvania and Grand Central Stations. Whether your visit is one of business or pleasure, you will find the Marlborough the Ideal Place to stop at. The Rathskeller is one of the Show Places of New York. Rooms, $1.00 Per Day Upwards Rooms with Bath, $1.50 Per Day Upwards $1.00 Extra Each Additional Person JOHN F. DOWNEY, Manager Stories With Smile; When Pa Hooks Ma's Dress When pa an’ ma are going out, ma tells him after tea To go upstairs an’ shave an’ dress, ‘cause very shortly she Will want the room, an’ then she says, ‘*As soon as you are thr You come down here an’ read awhile, until I send for you." Then pa puts on his evening clothes an’ comes back looking glum, An’ doesn’t have a word to say, until ma hollers, **Come!"" 4 Then up he goes to hook her dress, an’ we all follow, too, An’ stand about to see the fun, until he says, ‘‘Skiddoo! You kids are always in my way; I've got no room to spare. I need the space to do this job; just move away that chair, Now, ma, just take a good, long breath. I'll hook it sure this time, The way you women wear your clothes is certainly a crime."" An’ then he crouches down behind an’ wobbles on his toes, An’ gives a yank an’ slips—an’ almost tumbles on his nose; Then stands up straight and bends his back, until his face gets red, An’ if he went much further, he'd be standing on his head. i He whispers language to himself that we don’t understand, An’ sometimes breaks his finger nail an’ yells to beat the band, “You ought to wear a rubber dress, then maybe it would stretch,” Says pa, an’ sucks his finger nail. An’ ma says, ‘You're a wretch!" An’ then he starts to tug again, an’ then his fingers slip; t’s most astonishing,’’ says he, ‘‘that something doesn't rip!" At last he gets it hooked, an’ in a voice that’s weak an’ low, He mutters, ‘‘I'm so tired, I wish we didn’t have to go." —Edgar A. Guest, in Detroit Free Pres Teaching a Boy To Save—A very rich man in Columbus the othe day was telling how he obtained his first $100. Partly to saving ty money he attributes the first link of his chain of fortunes and partly» the cunning of his father. **When I was a little tot, id the rich fellow, ‘‘my father ti¢ to impress upon me the fruitful results of saving money, but to» avail. He persistently kept at it, however, trying every now and the: some scheme by which he could induce me to save. Finally, as he ws about to give up, he conceived the idea to which I attribute the fount tion of my financial success. The people next door had a beautift pony, that I wanted very much. When I asked my father to buy oe like it for me, he reminded me that if I had saved my money, I oxi have had one. This truth made a very deep impression upon me, ad I went to saving. “When I was about fifteen years old, I had enough money toby the pony, and when I broached the subject, my father thought am ment and said, ‘Do you remember that nice, big, black horse whid you saw the man driving the other day?’ I told him that I did, andke continued, ‘Well, if you save your money about a year longer, you ¥ be able to buy it.’ I at first did not think much of the idea, bat! adopted the plan. When I had enough money to buy the horse, xy father showed me where, by saving, I could purchase a little pieced land, and by raising some garden truck, I could soon buy the horse aé have the land, too. This made a decided ‘hit’ with me, and I boogtt the land. “In this way,”’ continued the rich man, ‘I kept making mos and saving it, always hoping to buy something with it. When lms twenty-one years old, my father told me of the scheme he had work upon me; but with the bank account I had on hand and the acres¢ ground which I had collected and paid for, I was willing to bet goat.''—Columbus Dispatch. Father Won Out—Jones’s wife wanted to pay an elongated visit 2 some of her relatives in a distant State, and while Jones had no get desire to kiss her good-by and do his own dish washing, he thought! the part of wisdom to treat the matter diplomatically. “*Harry,"’ said the wife one afternoon, speaking of the propos! it, ‘won't you be awfully lonely and utterly miserable whilela **Oh, no, dearie!’’ promptly answered Harry, with a brightesiy expression. ‘‘I shall manage nicely. There are Smith, Bow Green’ “Is that so?’ was the quick interjection of wifey. ‘*Then I dat go! I don't propose to have my house turned into a poker jubilee!"- Philadelphia Telegraph, Tit for Tat—He—Why are you women always going to bang@ sales in the hope of getting something for nothing? She—For the same reason you men are always going to 7* poker clubs.— Dallas News.