Judge, 1915-02-20 · page 9 of 24
Judge — February 20, 1915 — page 9: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This Judge magazine page contains three distinct pieces satirizing early 20th-century American life: **"A Song of Shopping"** mocks the frustration of husbands accompanying wives on shopping excursions. The poem depicts women as indecisive, lingering over frivolous items (stockings, haberdashery, appliqué) while exhausting their male companions—a common domestic comedy trope of the era reflecting gender anxieties about women's consumer culture participation. **"Cause and Effect"** depicts a disheveled, apparently drunk man buying a hat. The clerk's polite suggestion to "come around later in the day" is subtle satire—implying the customer should sober up before making purchases, critiquing both alcoholism and poor judgment. **The remaining items** include brief poetry commentary and baseball wordplay ("All in the Game"), standard filler humor typical of Judge's satirical approach. The overall page targets domestic friction, consumer culture, and male exasperation with female shopping habits—reflecting period anxieties about changing gender roles and modern commercialism.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
PREPARING FOR THE A Seng of Shopping H, GLAD am I with her to go Where apple blooms are dropping And merry birds are hopping on the lea! But it produces vertigo When she proposes shopping. No shopping with my little love for me! She lingers over fussy things, All satiny and silky-like; I really think she’d haggle half a day. She leaves a heap of mussy things, All mercerized and milky-like, And spends an hour to purchase ap- plique! She loiters over hosiery In manner that is shocking; It doesn’t seem to bother her a bit. It shatters my composure-y To see so much of stocking; I feel as though I'm like to throw a fit! She dotes on haberdashery ; She wants to buy me all of it. At last she gets a flaming necktie—one! She takes me to a hashery (Alas, the awful pall of it!) And lunches me on cocoa and a bun! Oh, glad am I with her to go Where apple blooms are dropping And merry birds are hopping on the lea! But it produces vertigo When she proposes shopping. No shopping with my little love for me! —Clinton Seollard. “Ob, Jimmie, I hope they don't chase us away from the lobby ."* MINISTRY Cause and Effect A bibulous-looking party entered a hat store one morning about nine o'clock. The hat he wore bore signs of wear and tear. “T want to buy a hat,’ he said to the affable clerk. “TI don’t like the looks of this one." “Yes, sir, What size, please?"* “‘Um—er" he hesitated, “Blamed if I remember. About eight and a quarter, I guess."* The clerk surveyed him for a moment commiserat- ingly. “IT beg your pardon,"’ he said very kindly, ‘‘but we haven't that sjze. Don't yau think you'd better come around later in the day?"* Poetry Some poetry is inspired, and some is perspired. Scarlet poetry is always read. Poetic feet have no soles. Poetry is soundless music. Love poems are written in meet her by moonlight. Burning pcetry is not always written by a versifier. Poetry is the centipede of literature. Precious poetry is put up in small packages. William J. Lampton. All in the Game Jinks—Throwing out hints won’t make a great pitcher of a man. Jenks—No more than rap- ping out oaths will increase his batting average! ‘ : TWENTY MILES ON A GALLON OF GASOLINE comicbooks.com