Judge, 1914-10-17 · page 6 of 24
Judge — October 17, 1914 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from the satirical magazine *Judge* contains several humor pieces mocking early 20th-century social conventions: **Top cartoon**: Two figures in a canoe appear stuck—a visual pun on the phrase "making headway," illustrating relationship stagnation. **"Down the Home Stretch"**: A poem satirizing small-town romantic melodrama. Lucy Snow rejects suitor William Brown, who marries to spite her. When Silas Pogram attempts similar revenge, Lucy remains indifferent. The joke: she ultimately wins by ignoring the petty games, eventually marrying a wealthy stranger. The satire mocks overwrought small-town romantic scheming. **"Woman's Way"**: Brief jokes about female decision-making and marriage dynamics—Mrs. Crabshaw won't ask her husband's advice until she's already decided what to do. **"Comparative Values"**: Satire on WWI-era European financial chaos, comparing a letter of credit's worthlessness to a "treaty of neutrality"—likely referencing broken neutrality agreements during the war. **"The Sentimental Age"**: A flirtation joke about eyesight and attraction. The overall tone is lighthearted domestic and social satire typical of Judge's era.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
OC WHndersen “WHAT'S THE MATTER, HENRY ? Down the Home Stretch HERE was a girl in our town, Her name was Lucy Snow. She was belov'’d by William Brown— Her answer, it was ‘‘No.”” Then William B——, he healed his heart And wedded Tildy Gray. Said he, “Miss Lucy now will smart For whiffing me away.” But Lucy Snow, she went along Concernéd not a bit, And unto Silas Pogram Strong She handed out the mitt. Then Silas P——, he said, says he, “I'll heap coals on her head!"” And he made up to Nancy Le In two weeks they were wed. But Lucy Snow remained cool And never turned a hair. She taught the same old village school, Until a millionaire, Who joy riding for his health, Halted before her door. He lost his heart—for Lucy’s wealth Of charm was brimming o'er. Said he, ‘‘I prithee for a drink, Whilst resting for a spell. ‘Twas twenty years ago, I think, I quaffed at this same well.”” Then Lucy Snow, she bent her head; The silence, it was great. And these old lovers soon were wed— Kismet! for such is fate. —Horace Seymour Keller. Woe! Woe! “Growcher is a confirmed pessimist, isn’t he?’’ “Yes. Just now he is worrying about who will bury the last man on earth."’ Woman's Way Mrs. Crawford—Why don’t you ask your husband's advice? Mrs, Crabshaw—I intend to, my dear, just as soon as I've made up my mind what I'll do, Comparative Values you had the usual trouble in Europe this summer,”’ said Mrs. De Jinks. “Yes,’’ said Mrs. Von Slammerton; “chiefly in the matter of getting money, however. Why, would you believe it, Mrs. De Jinks, a letter of credit over there wasn’t of any more value than a treaty of neutrality !’’ WE DON'T SEEM TO BE MAKING ANY HEADWAY” As She Described It LICE, an enthusiastic motorist, was speaking to her friend Maude, in re- lation to the slowness of a certain young man at proposing. “Charley seems to start easy,’’ she re- marked, ‘and he speeds up well, but just at the critical moment he always skids,"”” It Puzzled Him Silas—I hear your son left that small town and went to the city to have a larger field for his efforts, Hiram—Yes; and that’s what gets me. When Hank was home, a two-acre potato patch was too big a field for him. THT LS THE SENTIMENTAL AGE Mrs. Gaily- Mr, Bacheldor, do your eyes trouble you these days? Mr, Backeldor—Mine don't, but yours do, comicbooks.com