Judge, 1914-10-17 · page 7 of 24
Judge — October 17, 1914 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several independent humor pieces typical of early 20th-century American satirical magazines. **"Insult to Injury"** mocks an inexpensive automobile's horn (honker) so quiet that a hunter mistakes it for a duck's call and nearly shoots at it—satirizing cheap cars' poor quality. **"How They Describe Her"** shows the contradiction between how a woman is described by different people in her life (good girl, angel child, gum chewer, etc.), humorously highlighting social hypocrisy and subjective judgment. **"Where Ignorance Is Bliss"** presents a child innocently proud that her mother appreciates her forgetting curse words—the joke being the mother's relief at this "improvement." Additional pieces satirize family genealogy pretension, legal jargon, and the contemporary fad of women owning prize-winning dogs as status symbols. The overall tone reflects Belle Époque-era middle-class social observations and gentle domestic humor typical of Judge's readership.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Insult to Injury HE greatest insult ever heaped upon an inexpensive but very popular make of automobile is here recorded: The proprietor of one of the machines was driv- g ing along a country road, ‘say when he was startled by a race Ge gunshot from a wood close 5 | at hand. — “Don't shoot again!’’ he yelled. ‘‘I’ll surren- der!"” A man with a gun came forward and began to humbly apologize. “T beg your pardon,’’ he said. ‘*When T heard your honker and quickly looked your way, I thought it was a duck.’’ Evidence “But are you sure this telegram is really from your son, Mrs. Roob?"* asked the visitor. “‘No—not sure,”’ said Mrs. Roob; ‘‘but it looks like Tom's handwriting.”” Mio a) Yj 7 HE WASN'T NEAR-SIGHTED, EITHER “John, dear, does my dress set all right in the back?” How They Describe Her Her mother—‘‘A good girl.’”” Her father—‘‘An angel child.”” Her youngest brother—‘‘A stuck-up thing.’” Her oldest brother—‘‘A cute kid, but selfish.’” The minister's wife—‘ That very pretty girl."" The woman next door—‘‘That insipid blonde.’’ Her employer—‘‘A gum chewer.’’ The young man bookkeeper at the office —‘‘Not so bad for looks, but nobody home.” The office boy—‘*Poor, I gues: (Jack--""A bear.” | Tom—‘‘A cheater.” Her beaux { Ned—‘‘Some dancer."’ Dick—‘‘The sweetest girl in the world.’’ “What's the good of a family tree, anyhow?"" “You can use it to climb into society.”’ “Yes—as far as | can see.” “Where Ignorance Is Bliss” HE kindergarten children were talking about Thanksgiving. Each one had told what she was thankful for, and now the kindergartner was beginning on the mothers. “And what is your mother thankful for, Dotty?” she inquired. Dotty wore her seraphic look. ‘‘She is most thankful,’’ she said sweetly, ‘‘ ’cause I’ve forgotten all about ‘golly, gosh and darn’ !"" At the Bar That lawyers toast the humorists Quite often, you'll agree: Just note how oft the phrase ‘‘to wit” Within their briefs you see! A Reigning Fad Nora—What's Laura so puffed up about these days? Has she ‘‘contrected an alli- ance’? Dora—Oh, no! She’s the owner of a couple of prize-winning dogs, that’s all! comicbooks.com