Judge, 1914-08-29 · page 14 of 24
Judge — August 29, 1914 — page 14: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
**"Some Hooville Notables"** is a satirical poem mocking the non-voting citizen who complains endlessly about government corruption, incompetent politicians, and poor policy—yet never votes or engages civically. The poem contrasts this "Man-who-never-finds-the-time-to-go-and-vote" with productive citizens (including Walt Whitman, a Kansas poet, and President Woodrow Wilson's advisors) who actually work to improve society. The final couplet jokes that while the country is "going to the dogs," at least not literally to "pugdogs" (pug dogs). **"A Stewpan Specialist"** illustrates clever sales technique: a salesman fails selling an aluminum pot by emphasizing its advantages, but succeeds by reframing the same "flaw" (heavy handle) as a *safety feature* that prevents burns. It's a joke about marketing psychology and persuasion. **"The Poster Stamp Craze"** at bottom appears to be an advertising section showing novelty promotional stamps—a collecting trend of the era.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Some Hooville Notables By JOHN W. CAREY wre SHAKES his head and heaves a sigh and dons his mourning togs, because the government, he says, is headed for the dogs? Who sighs that modern politics is honeycombed with graft and that the ship of state with same is laden fore and aft? Who weeps because our of- fices of trust we W. Carey, a. em fail to fill with men whose only aim is not to tap the public till? Who murmurs that the bal- lot seems to be of no avail—it hands the public jobs to crooks who ouguat to be in jail? Who gives it up and says the gang has got us by the throat?) Why, Mr. Man- who-never - finds - the-time-to- go-and-vote. Who solves the problems day by day that vex our Presi- dent and kindly keeps us posted on what ails the gov- ernment? Who knows just what your Uncle Sam should doin Mexico and much regrets that Washington to date has bungled so? Who's got a brand-new scheme to put our currency in tune, and who would fix the tariff of a Sun- day afternoon? Who'd be a help to Congress if he just were on the spot, and who could wise the army and the navy to a lot? Who'd seem to be the lad to serve as Wood- row Wilson's sub? Why, Mr. Man - whose - wife - supports - the-household-at-the-tub. Who teases from the let- tered keys in words of modern man more common sense than ever flowed from out the pipes of Pan? Who nurses in that Kansas dome a notion queer indeed —that most folks like to get some sense from poetry they read? Who skins your high-browed Emerson and Browning with his mots, because he does not tie his thoughts in forty kinds of knots? While others on the bias cut their jingling pitapat, who pulls it on the square— like this? (We're just a copy- cat.) Whose dope beats all your pills and things for lame and blind and halt?) Are you a Mason? Sure you are! Here's to you, Uncle Walt! I believe the country is going to the dogs, but hate to think of its going to the pugdogs. A Stewpan Specialist By CHARLES A. LEEDY «e] HAVE here,” said the polite agent, “ta genuine solid alaminum stew- pan which will never tarnish, It will stand the wear and tear of time, wash readily with any kind of soap, and is guaranteed to give satisfaction, no matter what is cooked in it.'" The housewife examined the utensil. “T wouldn't have it in the house,’’ she finally exclaimed, ‘‘because the handle is of common metal much heavier than the aluminum, and the pan will not stand on the stove without upsetting. Take it and be on your way !"" But the agent was not discouraged. In the next residence he said to the housewi “I wish to direct your attention to an advantage which this wonderful pan pos- sesses over all others. You will observe that the handle is made of metal heavier than the aluminum, so that the pan will not stand on the stove empty without upset- ting. That, my dear madam, makes it at once give warning when the water has boiled off the potatoes, and at the same time raises the vegetables far enough above the flame to keep them from burning.”’ And the housewife bought four. Charles A. Leeda. 0. To the dyspeptic this is a very dis- agreeable world. THE POSTER STAMP CRAZE Judge's Humorous Suggestions for Progressive Advertisers. comicbooks.com