Judge, 1914-05-30 · page 14 of 24
Judge — May 30, 1914 — page 14: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three humor pieces and a motion-picture comic strip about "Lizette's Green Wig." **The cartoons/jokes:** 1. **"A Temporary Impediment"**: A child with a recently extracted tooth cannot speak clearly, creating comedy through her garbled speech ("Thed eh am" for "There I am"). 2. **"No Cause for Worry"**: A father reassures his wife that their son won't stray in New York City because street signs constantly warn "Watch your step!"—a pun suggesting moral guidance ironically comes from traffic safety warnings. 3. **"A Spring Query"**: A shoe-clerk joke playing on fashionable dance crazes of the era—"tango" was a wildly popular new dance, so asking about shoe colors ("tan") versus dance styles creates wordplay. 4. **"The Time and the Place"**: A romantic narrative poem where a man repeatedly proposes to "Lizette" in various scenic settings, always rejected—until a car breakdown makes her vulnerable enough to say yes. The page reflects early-20th-century humor: innocent puns, sentimental romance, and everyday American situations.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
| LY er. “It was entirely destroyed,” said Johnny promptly. “And what became of Tyre?” “Punctured."” In the Vernacular “What became of Nineveh?”’ asked the Sunday-school teach- May Be Scorched “You say Swift is IN THE SAME PLACE Martha—I hear the bustle is coming back again. Mark—Well, isn’t that where it always was? A Temporary Impediment THE GIRL appeared to be such a plump, jolly little soul that the old lady felt prompted to address “Hello, little girl! live near here?"’ “Eh am."’ “What?” “Thed eh am.”” “Does your mother know where you are?” “Think ho."" “I don’t understand you.’" “T haid I hink he os here I am."" “My dear child,” finally said the kindly old lady, “what in the world is the matter with your speech?” Adjusting her face with what seemed to be something of an effort, the child re- plied, “I had a big tooth pulled this morning, and I just can’t keep my tongue out of the hole."” —C. A, Leedy. * No Cause for Worry Father Wayback had just returned from a visit to his son in New York. His wife was anxious to learn if the boy was withstanding the temptations of city life. “Hiram,"’ said she, ‘it worries me to have William there alone in that big city. There is no one to remind him about walking in the straight and narrow path.’ “Don’t you worry about that, mother,’’ was the cheer- ful response. ‘Everywhere you go, they’re hollerin’ out, wer ‘Watch your step! Do you playing with fire “Yes; he’s going with his old flame.”” A Spring Query Lowise—L want to get some shoes. Shoe clerk—Tan or tango? her. JUDGE'S MOTION PICTURES The Time and the Place [ FOUND Lizette in the garden, When the moon was dropping low. And asked her the old, old question, | And received the old, old **No!"" I found her again by the seashore, In the sunset’s fading glow, And asked her the usual que: And received the usual **No!’* I asked Lizette that question In every time and place That seemed at all propitious; 'Twas ‘‘No!"’ in every case. I found Lizette by the roadside, In the glare of an August noon, With a tire badly punctured And an engine out of tune. And as I sprang to help her— ’Twas habit; nothing I asked the same old que And Lizette replied, ‘ RESTAURANT ° . } UY A SLIGHT WLM AS { comicbooks.com