Judge, 1914-05-16 · page 7 of 24
Judge — May 16, 1914 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is a humorous short story illustrated with a ship-board scenario. A visitor boards a ship and asks to pay respects to the captain and executive officer. The host dismisses this, claiming the captain teaches history and the executive officer teaches "vulgar fractions"—a satirical jab at what the author views as the incompetence or absurdity of naval officers. The joke escalates when the host leads the visitor through increasingly cramped passages into the ship's lowest compartments (the "double-bottom"), treating this claustrophobic descent as if it were proper nautical etiquette. The humor lies in subverting expectations of naval ceremony and "hospitality," replacing formality with absurdity. Below is an unrelated single-panel cartoon ("Adamant") about hard cider's potency.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
HE VISITOR to the a F “Ah!” said the other politely but eH The Hospitality of the Sea grenthusiasically. Certain rivets ship would were boring holes in his knees. With another swift glance about him, the plucked at his s! host thrust his hand into a recess and drew forth a bottle. Some on!"’ he urged. ‘‘I've something “What do you think this is?’’ he queried bitterly. to show you."’ y “But the captain?’? questioned the other, ‘‘Shouldn’t I pay my respects to t him?"" “He's engaged. He has a class in history at this hour.’” “The executive officer, then?"” “He has a division in vulgar frac- Ry W. T. NICHOLS The stranger shook his head. ‘‘T didn’t know, of course. Still, I thought the etiquette of the occasion required’”’—— “Pardon me!’ cried the host. ‘‘I will reveal the eti- quette. Come on, please!"’ They descended a companionway; they climbed down a ladder, and another ladder, and another. They were be- low the protective deck. They dropped through a trap- door in the engine-room floor. They lowered themselves into a contracted space and crawled aft on hands and knees, the guide lighting the way with a pocket electric bull’s-eye. Presently he paused and glanced keenly over his ADAMANT shoulder. , ; , sae 6 . Patron—Is your cider good and hard ? “Thi the double-bottom,”’ he whispered hoarsely. —1aiter—Hard? Why, six glasses o that cider will make a feller think he’s crushed “We are quite safe here."” stone, and he'll lay down on th’ highway and try to pull the asphalt over him.’” comicbooks.com