Judge, 1914-05-16 · page 6 of 24
Judge — May 16, 1914 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from Judge contains multiple humor pieces satirizing early 20th-century American life: **"The Minute Man"** depicts an older patriot proudly displaying his flagpole, likely referencing preparedness concerns about potential U.S. military intervention in Mexico (a recurring political anxiety of that era). **"The Minute Man" (main text)** is a lengthy joke about a struggling humorist who finances his entire house—furniture, utilities, everything—by writing jokes. The satire mocks both the precarious economics of joke-writing as a profession and the absurdity of extracting commercial value from everyday domestic situations. **"Why Not?"** is a moralizing poem advising against gossip, complaint, and judgment of neighbors—conventional Progressive-era civic virtue. The remaining pieces are brief gags about corsets, contracting, and marital dynamics. The illustration "Slightly Damaged by Fire" shows domestic chaos. Overall, this reflects Judge's blend of social commentary, domestic humor, and gentle moralizing typical of early 20th-century American satire.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“Sporty? What'cha mean sporty?’ “*A& high flier.” “**Well, she was when she used kero- sene on the fire.” “The baby’s cradle was paid for by ball, or bawl, jokes. When I wanted to decorate the walls of the halls with bur- THE MINUTE MAN Old patriot—Glad L got my flag-pole up at e for the present trouble in Mexico. lap and wife wanted the walls painted, and we compromised by having them painted, I paid for the job by writing gold- brick jokes. I overworked the plumber joke and paid for my piping, and when the bathtub was installed, I told of the country cousin who could hardly wait un- til Saturday for her bath. For the wash- bowl I told of Willie objecting to having his face washed, or getting his face dirty by washing it with his hands. “The refrigerator was possible through my ability to tell how the iceman lived on ice, and, to vary the jest, my cellar was stocked with coal because the coal- man could live on coal. I built my library from bookmaker jokes. By telling of the light bills I received from the gas com- pany, I was enabled to illuminate my house. Changing affairs in China brought me my crockery. The ‘tramp’ from Eden gave me money with which to make my walks. “Does joke writing pay? For my wife’s dresses sometimes. She tore her gown one day, and I wrote the event as a slit-skirt joke. She complained that baby’s dress was too short for her, as she was growing. Immediately I sold the fact that it would be long before she got another. But that’s getting into matters other than the house. This is a dandy residence, isn’t it? And all paid for by jokes—showing how something new can be made from something old. Of course it’s easy to write jokes—but better to typewrite them. But all is not easy. “It's easy to tell 'em, but it’s hard to sell tem. Which the Humorist found painfully true when he woke up. Of Corset Will The stay, They say, Has gone away To join forgotten hours. Will it, We twit, Subtract a whit From woman's ‘‘stay- ing powers’’? No Capital Required Flira—What's your busine: Flam—Contractor, Flim—What line? Flam—Debts. One Consolation Madge—It’s awful to suffer in silence! Marjorie—It must be, dear, That is why I'm glad I am a woman and don’t have to do it. HY not smile instead of pouting, And keep still instead of shouting, “‘He’s no good !”” Why not hide your little hammer, Cease your bickering and your clamor, And saw wood? Granted that your nearest neighbor Does not talk nor dress nor labor To suit you; There’s no profit made by spying On your comrades and decrying All they do. If a man’s a Holy Prancer, You will not be called to answer For his deeds. Let's get busy in our garden And start right in discardin’ Noxious weeds.—£. R. McIntyre. SLIGHTLY DAMAGED BY ‘FIRE'" 7 comicbooks.com