Judge, 1914-04-04 · page 12 of 24
Judge — April 4, 1914 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This Judge magazine page contains multiple humor pieces satirizing romantic and social situations of the era. **"Some Phases of the Moon's Life"** (main story): A love triangle where Constance's former fiancé Thomson reappears, claiming he still loves her and that Willsey (her wealthy husband) "tempted her with money." Willsey responds by inviting Thomson to the house, then suggesting Constance leave with him if she truly loves him. When she refuses, Willsey buys her forgiveness with an expensive diamond necklace. The satire mocks the transactional nature of marriage and suggests that women's loyalty can be purchased with luxury goods rather than love. The smaller comic pieces ("No Apology Needed," "Heard in the Moonlight," "A Rejection") are brief gags: one about a nervous wife mistaking a grocer's boy for a robber; another where a man named Joe awkwardly asks about "kissing" and the woman misunderstands "eugenic" for his name; and a punchline about a rejected suitor's heart being literally stubbed over. The humor relies on misunderstandings, gender stereotypes, and class commentary typical of early 20th-century satire.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
SOME PHASES OF THE MOON'S LIFE and more. Why should I throw them away?’ “Then you think love doesn’t counterbalance everything? It is the only’’—— “I beg your pardon,’’ said Willsey, who had come upon them. ‘*But why are you here, Constance? And who is this? Ah! I see. Your name is Thomson, isn’t it? And that is your motor out there?’’ “*Yes, My name is Thomson."" “‘And you loved my wife before we were married?”’ “And love her still. She was my fiancee before you tempted her with money.”’ “So? Well, please drive your motor around to the porte- cochere. Maybe we can bring this romance to a fitting end. And you, Constance’’—Willsey picked up her wrap and cast it over her bare neck and shoulders—‘‘need warmer attire. It’s really chilly. Come!’’ She followed her husband as Thomson disappeared. No word was spoken as they entered the mansion. Both were silent as they came into the library and stood facing each other. Here was a study for a physiognomist. The spell was broken by a servant. **A gentleman has just come up in a motor, sir."” “Call him in,”’ said Willsey. Thomson entered, defiant. “Hadn't you better go and get on some warmer clothes, Constance?” said Willsey. No Apology Needed EARING a noise at the kitchen entrance, the man of the house slipped quietly to the rear door and suddenly opened it. ‘The grocer’s delivery boy was there, with a basket containing a dozen eggs, a pound of butter and some Roquefort cheese, “Oh, it’s you, is it, Billy?’’ said the man. ‘‘My wife is always afraid when she hears a noise here, especially after it begins to grow dark. She thinks it’s a robber.”” “Well, she needn’t change her mind on my account,’’ gloom- ily responded the grocer’s boy, handing over the goods and pre- senting the bill, which called for $1.87. Heard in the Moonlight He had just seated himself beside her in the park, and as she did not move away, he gained some encouragement. ‘Do you—er—believe in this—er—kissing idea?’’ he ventured. “‘Are you eugenic?”’ she asked. ‘Why, no!"’ he replied, a bit confused. ‘‘I’m Joe."” A Rejection Knick—Did you lay your heart at her feet? “Knack—Yes; and she stubbed her toe over it walking away. Constance stood motionless and apparently without emotion. “If you love this man,"’ continued Willsey, ‘‘why not go with him?” She still did not answer. “What can you offer such a wom- an?" asked Willsey of Thomson. Thomson looked at Constance, but she did not look at him, and he was dumb. “*Do you wish to go with this man?"” “*No.”” Willsey touched a button, and’a servant appeared. ‘Show this gen- tleman out. Thomson retired. Willsey took from a table a jewel box. Constance, still standing, released her wrap, and her frank beauty was disclosed. “I intended this,’ said Willsey, “for your birthday, bat why not now? You are a sensible as well asa beautiful woman,.”’ As he placed a priceless chain of diamonds around her neck, seemingly kissing the pendant as it adjusted it- self Constance fell upon her knees. SEEING NEW YORK comicbooks.com