Judge, 1914-03-21 · page 9 of 24
Judge — March 21, 1914 — page 9: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This story satirizes medical practice and professional ethics in the early 20th century. A desperate young doctor, frustrated by lack of patients, is finally summoned to treat a wealthy family's incurable case. He prescribes aggressively and predicts recovery—the patient dies anyway. The joke: the family becomes his *loyal* patients afterward, repeatedly calling him back. When asked why they chose him despite the initial failure, they credit his "encouragement about Aunt Julia"—meaning his false optimism gave them hope, not actual medical competence. The satire targets how doctors built practices through confidence and bedside manner rather than actual skill, and how wealthy families valued encouragement over results. It's a cynical commentary on the medical profession's foundations in reassurance rather than science. The accompanying humor sections ("Inspiration," "Time Serving") are separate jokes about poetry and estate administration.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
ONCE there was a wicked young M.D. He wished that everybody might die a natural death wholly unassisted by science. For when a ¥ > perfectly fresh and new patsy ness doctor has had his sign up days and weeks with- out himself being called to a single case, he has had time to do some thinking along unpleas- ant lines. However, there came Our M.D. was ly te a ring at the door. summoned to the house on the hill. He responded and found his services required by the richest folks in town. The case was bad. It had been pro- nounced incurable by every other doctor in the county. The young M.D. was desperate enough to take himself very seriously. He pre- scribed in earnest. He gave generous orders. LENTEN DEVOTION Success By T. CHENEVIX When implored for his candid opinion, he assured the household of the patient’s ultimate recovery. Two hours later the patient died. Then our doctor indulged in more un- pleasant thoughts. He concluded that this family would never call nor even speak to him again. He was sorry that he had displayed so much useless energy and had not used appropriate restraint in the circumstances, After a little time had passed, he was called again to the same house. He was summoned there repeatedly. The inmates mercifully survived his successive pre- scriptions. Years went by, and when success was assured, curiosity got hold of him. He made bold to inquire, ‘‘Why did you select me for your family doctor when you know ever so many other medical men?”’ The reply was both prompt and cordial: “Because, doctor, you were the first phy- sician to give us any encouragement about Aunt Julia!’’ Inspiration “You can’t write verse on some sub- jects. Now, for instance, what poetry is there in a pork chop?” “‘T can see you've never been real hun- gry.” Time Serving ‘‘What are you making such a fuss about? I thought being executor of an- estate was a soft thing.’’ ‘‘Perhaps it is sometimes. But I have to wind up the affairs of a clockmaker.’’ comicbooks.com