Judge — March 14, 1914 — page 9: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A Shoddy Skin RAINED seals are not the kind of animals that bear the valuable fur of commerce, but Marjorie doesn’t know that. While inspecting some of the curious creatures in a city zoo, the little girl’s attention was attracted by one animal whose fur seemed to be rubbed off in spots. Patting her own shiny coat with one plump hand and point- ing at the skin of the seal with the other, Marjorie observed disdainfully, ‘“‘Huh! The cheapest kind of an imitation!"’ Gossip Lou—I saw Ethel yesterday, and we had the loveliest con- fidential chat together. Lucy—I thought so; she wouldn’t talk to me to-day. THE JUGGERNAUT From the hen's point of view. Ravenous Mrs. Skimpleigh—Why, John, how much you eat this eve- ning! You act as though you were starving. Mr. Skimpleigh —So Iam. I'm as hungry as one of those underfed furnaces you see advertised. HIGH FINANCE Tommie (to visitor) This is my new bank. When you put a penny in it rings a bell. a penny I''Il let you try it. IP SPEED MANIACS WOULD ONLY WEAR GOGGLES THAT BECOME THEM The Dominating Gender LAZiLy he climbed up, and after getting himself comfortably settled on the top rail, lighted his pipe. For some time he sat very still and puffed smoke, looking seriously at the ground. He had just come from his home, that stood back on the rise of ground on the old hill farm. “I've done wrong, and I knew it at the time. Looks like it’s jest born in a man to act wrong; but whenever he does it, if he hasn’t made a practice of acting that way, the good part in a feller begins to fuss at him.’” Then he looked away at the Kentucky hills on the horizon, with lines of indecision on his brow. “T reckon I ought to go back! I’d hate for anybody to do me that way. But—-I thought then, and still think, I done right whenIdoneit She didn’t have no business wanting to do that. Still, somehow, I know I’ve done her wrong.”” Then he humped over into a deep study, and after a few mo- ments straightened up and jumped down off the fence. ‘Yes, sir; I’m shore going back and undo what I've jest done, for if I don’t I'll be sorry for it the balance of the day.’’ He walked up the path lead- ing to hiscabin. Arriving, he went around the house, and there stopped and studied, meanwhile patting one foot against the hard ground. ‘‘Now, I oughtn’t to give up to her this way. I’m entirely too chicken-hearted. But I can’t help it,’”” he ended. And then, with a movement which denoted full decision, he walked over to a post by the ash-hopper, stooped low and untied a rope that held a gaunt, flop-eared hound. Then he turned and went his way down the path, with the dog trotting gladly at his heels. At the big road he stopped, looked down at the slinking ani- mal and said, ‘‘Bessie, you jest twist me around your finger all the time, don’t you?” —George Bingham. Faint Heart “I'm rather afraid Clara Vere de Vere is going into a de- cline.” “‘Why do you think so?’’ “I'm going to propose to her If you "ve * il this evening if I get a chance.’’ comicbooks.com