Judge — March 14, 1914 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

& = LIZA Canis SOCIETY NOTE Miss Mignonette O'Casey, daughter and heiress of Terrence O’Casey, the junk king of Allee Court, was seen on the drive yesterday trying out her new automobile. She was accompanied by her sister Violette and Jerry Donovan, whose name has been linked with hers by society. Her brother Patrick speeded up the car close to the limit of the law. but the case was too flagrant, and it on Sunday, too, and Bilkins was haled before the magistrate sitting. There he received a scathing lecture on the conduct of a man at his time of life and was assessed $25 for speeding in the first degree. Bil- kins had $5 in his clothes, and the prison cell yawned before him. At this moment he became suddenly possessed of a great idea. Noman knows when these Napo- leonic ideas will strike him, but they may happen at any time. Bilkins’s did. It was the automobile opportunity of ‘his life. In order to protect the honor of his name in his own commmunity, he had given an assumed name and a different place of residence, and now he was espe- cially glad that he had equivocated as he had often heard of others doing under similar circumstances. When the court had finished with him, he ex- plained that he was a respectable, law- abiding citizen, not out for joy-riding, and had brought with him only $5, not enough to tempt the cupidity of any- body, that he had lost control of the car and couldn’t manage the brute, which had never been driven before except by an experienced chauffeur, and if the court would hold the car as security for the small amount of the fine imposed, he, the prisoner at the bar, would go home and get the.money to redeem the car and himself as soon as he could return. Bilkins talked so like an honest man that the court was moved to grant his plea, but hesitated, in doubt of the value of the collateral. Bilkins appealed to the policemen, deputies, witnesses and audi- ence, and the consensus of opinion was to the effect that nothing but the highest- priced car could make the time that car did through their town, and the magis- trate was finally convinced that it would be an injustice not to hold the car as se- curity and let Bilkins go home for the money as he proposed. And Bilkins went. And he went so fast to the railway station at the other end of the street that he would have been arrested for violating the speed ordinance if pedestrians were handled in that way. And he never came back to redeem that A Rare Social Event NE OF the most delightful fune. tions of the season was an in- formal afternoon conflagration given by Mrs. Aulpher Stuntz, on Thursday, at her magnificent mansion on Cog- pon Terrace. Society turned out en masse in re- sponse to the invitations, which, in order to lend the requisite verisimili- tude, were issued rather hurriedly, and many of the guests arrived in ad- vance of the fire department. Among those who assisted in car- rying things downstairs and throwing them out of the windows were the following well-known society folk: Mr. Hy. Pylesen Pyles, Mr. Ham. mond Packer, Mr. Willoughby Wal- let, Mr. Beefy Plunger, Mr. Handy. side Cheet, Mr. Paul Van Glutton and others. Among those who served coffee, sandwiches, champagne and cocktails to the firemen and others were the following, without whose names no society column is complete: Mrs. Helwitha Price, Mrs. Senditan Charge, Mrs. Hugh Scarcely-Man- ners, Mrs. Tuffern Slangy, Mrs. B. Yuce- ful Never and others. Any one could see that it was a very elaborate and very expensive conflagra- tion. When asked how much of it was covered by insurance, Mrs. Stuntz said she didn’t care, so long as everybody had a good time. -E. 0.4. Itt Befitting the Crime “Yes,’’ said Uncle ’Bije, who had just returned from the city, where, by virtue of a relative’s influence, he had mades visit to the State penitentiary, ‘‘they’s no doubt but what they do lay down th’ law ter’ble strict in some cases. Why,I talked with one feller, who said he wus in f’r fifteen years, ‘jus’ f’r pinchin’s MODESTY? Tourist—I've come three thousand miles to see your beautiful sunset. Alkali Ike—Someone's been stringin' ye stranger. It ain't mine.