Judge — February 14, 1914 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Passing the Mustard Efficiency—‘‘He never spanks his son, does he?” , No; he’s an efficiency crank. hat’s that got to do with it?” “He says the upward stroke is lost motion.’*—Houston Post. The Little Pitcher —‘Now, children, can you name any other creature who belongs to the brute creation?’” “Tcan, teacher.”’ “Then name the creature.”” “My papa. My mamma says so.’’— Chicago Tribune. Getting Back—Lawyer—Do you know what ‘‘conscientious scruples’? means? Witness—Yes, indeed! Lawyer—Well, what does it mean? Witness—Well, my parents wanted me to be a lawyer, but I had ’em!—Chicago News, The Exception—Bir—lIt’s pretty hard for a man to find work after he’s been in jail. Diz—Yes, unless he’s a chauffeur.— Boston Transcript. In Doubt—Boarder—Why did the land- lady send me two eggs? I asked for only one. Maid—She probably thought one of them might be bad, sir.—Philadelphia Telegraph. Honest About It—‘‘Do I understand you to say,’”’ asked the judge, ‘‘that his re- marks were acrimonious?’” “No, judge, ur honor, I didn’t say that. I said he just swore at me. I ain't a-goin’ to claim that he done what he didn’t do.""—Birmingham Age-Herald. Suited—First stenog—How do you like your new boss? Second stenog—Great! He don’t know no more about grammar, spellin’ an’ punctuation than I do; he’s jest out ’er college!—Cleveland Plain Dealer. Her Idea—‘‘I see this medicine is good for man and beast "” “Yes,’’ said the druggist. “Gimme a bottle. I believe that’s the right combination to help my husband.’” —Kansas City Journal. Accounting for Small Fine —Fannie— ey Say a woman in Appleton, Wis., re- cently paid a fine of $21.80 for gossiping. Annie—They must have caught her be- fore she got through talking.— Yonkers Statesman, Dancing Preferred—-‘‘So you approve of dancing?” “Thoroughly. In many instances it’s much better to keep step to the music of 4 song than to listen to the words of it.’’ —Washington Star. To arrive at the top in any department or commercial effort one must produce, offer and do bet- ter than has been produced, offered or done before. Fifty years ago we determined that Sunny .Bi must be the finest whiskey distilled and aged in Old Kentucky and we have never deviated from this policy. Today we are known as the largest distillers of fine old whiskies in the world, § Sunny Brook reached the top because it surpassed all others in mellow flavor, exquisite bou- quet and tonic properties. The friends Sunny yok made fitty years ago Decause of its high quality and purity are still its friends, and all over this broad land a majority imins 1g Public demands Sunny Brook and absolutely refuses substitutes Brook is a real honest, straight Kentucky Whiskey and rery bottle is filled and then sealed with the “Green Stamp," under the direct supervision of U. S. Inspectors. If you want to know you are getting the best always ask for Sunny Brook—The Pure Food Whiskey. READ. Tis TABEL, Oh, JUDGE: in our hours of ease, Delightful, witty, sure to please, Though variable as the shade By the light quivering aspen made; When pain and anguish wring the brow, A ministering angel thou' Judge The Happy Medium 225 Fifth Ave., N. Y. Subscription $5.00 52 Issues ' DROP DEAD ONES. AWAKE! u the NEW W. AGENTS | 2osncessaee! AGENTS! a (: © THE 20th CENTURY WONDER Get started in an honest, clean, reliable, money-making business. Sold on or fer, Vas “ell Siders one dovea, Four daye "enn.. started with sample. O: d., sells 3 machines first hour. In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com