Judge, 1914-02-14 · page 20 of 24
Judge — February 14, 1914 — page 20: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page consists primarily of advertisements and short humorous fiction typical of *Judge* magazine. The main visual elements are ads for Cook's champagne and jewelry, along with three brief comedic anecdotes under "Stories with Smiles." The jokes exploit early 20th-century social conventions: one mocks a man's failed romantic pursuit; another satirizes a novelist's husband's self-deprecating jokes about his wife's success and his own irrelevance; the third relies on an insulting physical joke about a man's wide-open mouth while sleeping, implying his face is so large the barber cannot locate it to shave him. The advertising emphasizes luxury consumption—champagne, diamonds, and high-end hotel dining—typical of *Judge*'s wealthy readership. There's no overtly political satire; rather, the humor reinforces class assumptions and genteel courtship norms of the era.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Make It a Bottle of Cook’s Let your order express the dif- ference between mere money spending and buying the wine you like— lively as a cricket—pure as purity—every sip a surprise in deliciousness. Foreign wines cost more because somebody has to pay import duty and shipping charges. American Wine Co. 8ST. LOUIS Dr. Hall’s Sexual e fo) z E fa xOOM sm Nn amination —all charges Basser retundea It fat satishactory. Writs way for tree tatase” WHITE VALLE’ Stand acid and fire diamond test. | So hard they easly 9 scratch a file and | will cut glass. Brilliancy guaran- teed years, Mounted in ]4k solid gold diamond mountings. See them before mae Ing. Will wend you aay style ring. f No money. Y GEM CO., 773 Wulsin Bidg., 0 “as a Stories ‘with Smifes Ungallant Man—In the happy past John Henry was madly in love with Gladys May, but there came one of those silly little quarrels, and the fair one told the youth to hastily beat it from her papa’s porch, John Henry did beat it. Moreover, he kept right on going, and it was some- thing like ten years before he returned to the native haunts he knew so well. At a ball one night he met the beaute- ous Gladys May, married now, and it was with matronly condescension that she elected to look upon him. “After ten long years we meet again, Gladys,’’ said John Henry, eagerly step- ping forward to take her hand. ‘‘I trust that you still remember me.’’ “Let me see,’’ mused the fair Gladys May, with an indifferent expression. “Was it you or your brother who used to be an old sweetheart of mine?”’ “Really, I don’t know,"’ came back the cruel response of John Henry. ‘‘Prob- ably it was my father.’’—Philadelphia Telegraph. A Humble Joker—‘‘Humphry Ward, the husband of the well-known novelist, likes to joke about his nonentity.’” The speaker was a New York magazine editor. “Humphry Ward, they tell me,’’ the editor went on, ‘once entered his wife’s study while she was out, and glanced over the manuscript upon her writing desk. “He read the sentence, ‘She swept the room with a bright, fresh glance,’ and, taking up a pencil, he wrote on the mar- gin of the page, ‘If she would only sweep the room with a bright, fresh broom!’ ‘Reading on, he came to, ‘She touched a button and a footman appeared.’ His marginal note to this was, ‘Alas! she will never touch a button!’ “*And now he came upon the sentence, ‘She decided to mend her ways.’ And again he wrote, ‘Hopeless! She'll never mend anything.’ ’’— Washington Star. Too Much Cavity—One afternoon an es- teemed citizen went into a barber shop to have his briars reaped, but no sooner had he taken a seat in one of the chairs than he dropped off into heavy slumber. Ap- parently the shave artist was having his own troubles in manipulating the cus- tomer, and after making several attempts he thoughtfully paused. “Excuse me, sir,’’ said he, gently shak- ing the man in the chair; ‘‘but would you mind waking up? I can’t shave you while you are asleep.’” “Can't shave me while I’m asleep!’’ exclaimed the victim, with a wondering expression. ‘*Why not?’’ “Because,” explained the barber, as softly as possible, ‘‘when you fall into slumber, your mouth opens so wide that I can’t find your face.’’—Philadelphia Tele- graph. HOTEL IMPERIAL Broadway, 31st to 32nd Street, New York Dancing every afternoon from four to six-thirty, in the Palm Garden, Under the Direction of MR. G. HEPBURN WILSON, M. B. Supper Dance from ten to one in Palm Garden, with choice of Service—a la carte or Selected Menu, $1.00. Irresistible dance music, excelling any other in New York, by the celebrated Im. perial Orchestra, increased by drums and Hungarian Cymbals. SRE Made-to-Measure Express & 7 75 Prepaid > Pants cut in the latest style. Made-to-your individual] } measure, Fit, workmanship and| wear guaran No Extra Charge for peg tops, no matter how extreme! you order them. Agents Wanted A good live hustler in every town to| i] take orders for our celebrated made-to-| measure clothes. Samples of all the latest materials FREE. We Pay Big Money to our agents everywhere. Turn your spare time into cash by taking orders bh for our stylish clothes. Write today for beautiful FREE outfit. THE PROGRESS TAILORING CO., Dept. 1612, Chicago| WANTED—AN IDEA! WHO CAN THINK OF SOME Jou wealthy Write for, “Needed Inventions" aad Hlow Get Your Patent and Your Money.” Baadolph é& c Patent Attorneys. Dept. 129, Washington, D. MEN 'GA ARS “MADE AT al GARS LA FOLLETTE’S WEEKLY Tella you fearlessly, candidly. tnterest lastly the inside of public affaire-tree te ‘epeak the truth and champion the cause ef tree democracy and equal righin Regular subscription pet year. We will send yuo 10 WEEKS—10 CENTS f yoa will send us the names of fire per 00s interested in the progressive caase, La Follette’s Weekly, Dest. J ‘MADISON, WISCONSIN ROMEIKE’S Press Cut! ing Bureau will send you all newspaper clip- pings which may appear about you, your friends, or any subject on which you may want to be ‘up to date."” Every newspaper and peri- odical of importance in the United States and Europe is searched. “Terms, $5.00 for 100 notices. HENRY ROMEIKE, 106-110 Seventh Ave., N.Y. In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com