Judge — February 7, 1914 — page 9: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

en ee | | Love Taps and Tips THERE are occasions when a quartet is more sinister than a triangle. Before the clever woman goes moting, she carefully uses an eyecup. Wedlock—Chills and fever, and fever and chills. No woman (as long as she keeps her waist line) really hates herself or man. Between most women of corresponding sex attraction, there exists an ‘‘aura’’ of ruthless suspicion. Smart woman—A complicated skirt. The great lovers of all time have left stepping stones for lesser ones, The primal instincts show less but are more deeply bedded in woman than in man. “Perfect lambs’’—Children of blind mothers. Frankincense—The sort Vanity dotes upon. Elemental forces are at work before a magnetic woman is perfected. When Ridicule appears upon the field of action, the reeling senses pull them- selves together. Since the dawn of time, Dusk has had its passional histories. Passion is the champion gamester, yet he often loses—-furiously. Man and woman—the trapper and the trapped, and both in their natural element. Many a ruthless son blackmails a flir- tatious dad. Minna Thomas Antrime The Old Beau Time was a valentine he sent That fairly throbbed with kisses. He'd do so still, though gray and bent, But stops to think she’s now a Mrs, love and Revolt H, WHY was | born in a stu- pid to-day, with the heart of a pirate of old, to wander along ina tranquil way, all pining for gore and for gold; a-pining for fights of the grim- mest kind, on a redly ensanguined sea, with naught to excite my adventurous mind but the thrill of a five- o'clock tea? I dream of the gleam of a falchion sword and the thun- derous rattle of shot, while villainous cut- throats go climbing aboard the deck of some ill-fated yacht. I dream of a dash o'er the oozling spume of some bridge with red carnage wet, and find when I wake but the placid doom of a chat with a suffragette! I hunger for slaughter, rapine and war; for the thrill of a brave, last stand, when up to the knee in a welter of gore I lead on a brave command. I pine for a bout with a foeman free and a fight with the old-time thrill, to find that AM LYNCH _ the fiercest of bouts for me is a row o’er a tailor’s bill! Alas for the doom of a war- rior heart, tolive inaday like this, when a dash through the night in a gasoline cart is the height of all mortal bliss! To think of aknightly soul athirst for deeds of the doughtiest sort, enchained in a time like our own accurst, when quar- rels are settled in court! Oh, glorious days of the spear and lance, when knight- liest deeds were did! Oh, chivalrous days of ye ancient France! Oh, marvelous days of Kidd! Joy rides and teas! Oh, ye gods! what woes for a heart by ambition scarred! *** Make way! I am off MONDAY MORNING THE COMIC SECTION PINDS ITS LEVEL for to punch the nose of a militant subway guard! THE DICTAGRAPH “John, it 's time that young man was going home.” Modern Valentines [the high cost of living bas even affected the valen- tive. Exchange, T USED to be, in olden times, That valentines were things Of hearts and darts, And doves and loves, Posed on lace-raper rings. But modern maids of tango tastes Would take offense at these. ’Tis diamond whirls And strings of pearls That they want, if you please! —Harvey Peake. Slightly Affected by the Weather Mother—Tommy, what was the golden text at Sunday school to-day? Tommy (who lives in Alaska)—Let me see. Oh, yes! ‘Many are cold, but few are frozen.’’ Abundance, like want, ruins many— particularly abundance of advice. comicbooks.com