Judge — January 24, 1914 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

HISTORICAL INTEREST IN VERMONT Farmer to tourists—Yes, to the left behind yonder hill the British wer renched ; to the right back of the stone wall the Colonial army were encamped—and on the spot where we ‘re standing Harry Thaw was arrested. ROGER MURRAY disliked music, es- pecially Tschaikowsky’s Symphonies, which he disrespectfully called ‘Boiler Factory Excerpts.’’ By His sister loved music, especially Tschaikowsky’s. ‘*When I hear his Fifth Symphony,’ she said, ‘‘I always wonder if that man ever found what he so ardently longed for.” Her brother, a gentleman usually, a brute “My dear, all he wanted was a drink.”” “Roger! Don’t judge that mighty genius by yourself.’’ “Speaking of myself, I fell asleep three times this after- noon, while they were grinding out that ‘Pathetique’ thing of his. Once drums awoke me, then cymbals, and the last crash came from the concerted effort of every man on the stage to do his loudest. You know the time I mean—when the roof seemed to be rising on its hind legs’? —— “Roger!” “Don't ‘Roger’ me! I give you my word, Cynthia, it was fierce! I felt like going around to the stage door and sending in a promissory note to those musicians, stating briefly that if ey'’d go easy, so I could sleep until the finish, I'd see that very man with enough strength left to hold a glass should have a drink the instant their boiler factory shut down.”” “Roger! I hate you!" chaikowsky and Wagner have wrecked many homes be- musically, smiled. “That reminds me—next Sunday is an ‘All-Wagner’ after- noon,’” A nina | “All-Wagner! Her Love Cure ul All-Wagner! Now, Cynthia, one-half of one per cent. Wagner would be more than a plenty. Are you expecting me to accompany you to that noisefest?”" “It is not necessary. Celestine is go- Celestine was as brilliant as a Western sunset, and this ing."’ brilliance was enhanced by the black she wore in memory of a distant relative, who had left her one million dollars. Other relatives, both distant and near, had tried to prove that her gor- geous loveliness was a sufficient heritage without the million, but the old man had added a codicil to his will for his grand- niece’s protection: “TI leave this money to Celestine Simmons, knowing that her great beauty will foil any attempt she may make to battle with the world, because of the many snakes at large. Be it understood that by ‘snakes’ 1 mean men.’" Lawyers argued for days and had almost induced the jury to believe that the will and codicil thereof were but the babblings of a feeble mind, when Celestine stepped into the witness box. The jury gave her one long, lingering glance and decided that her granduncle was the sanest man who ever held a pen. The foreman of the jury had the honor of verbally handing Celestine her million, but he was never the same thereafter. The smile she gave him shattered his heart, and the only balm he ever found was short-lived in its healing powers. He man- aged to obtain possession of an orchestra chair which com- manded a view of her box at the opera. Also a view of the comicbooks.com