Judge, 1914-01-10 · page 9 of 24
Judge — January 10, 1914 — page 9: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains light satirical humor pieces typical of early 20th-century American comic magazines. The content includes: **"Autofriendship"** mocks the false economy of accepting rides in friends' automobiles—while the ride is free, the friend bears all costs (repairs, fines, breakdowns). The joke exploits the then-novel expense of owning a motorcar. **"To a Lost Handbag"** parodies sentimental lost-love songs by applying the dramatic style to a missing purse and its contents, satirizing overwrought emotional expression. **"Not Mary's Company"** jokes about a servant answering the door only for callers she considers socially inferior, using her kitchen as the proper entrance. **Other brief pieces** mock indigestion, landlady irritability, unhappy marriage, and stoic husbands through short comedic dialogues. The accompanying illustration shows men at what appears to be an opera, explaining the plot—common satire of both opera's complexity and tedious social commentary. Overall, the page targets automobile culture, pretension, and domestic/social awkwardness.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
RE Suodgrass’ SOME EXP RESSIONS While the man in the rear explains the story of the opera to his friend. Autofriendship O# MERRY it is in a motor car, As you skim o’er the landscape green; But, take it from me, it is merrier far If you ride ina friend’s machine. If you ride in a friend’s machine, old chap, And a nail goes—bang! —through the shoe, Why, it means forty dol- lars right out—kerslap! But it’s up to your friend, not you. If out in the open the car breaks down And everything goes askew, And a blacksmith comes from the nearest town— It’s the friend who pays, not you. And when he is pinched by a heyrube cop For speeding across the view, You can bet they will fine him good, sure- pop !— Your friend, I mean, not you. Oh, merry it is in a motor car, As you skim o’er the landscape green; But, take it from me, it is merrier far If you ride in a friend’s machine. —Harry Hamilton. An Extreme Case Marcella—Mr. Beanbrough seems to be greatly bothered with indigestion.” Waverly—I should say so! He refused to attend a moving-picture show the other evening, because one of the scenes had a banquet in it. Provocation Boarder (nonchalantly )—I’ll take some boiled eggs this morning, Mrs. Blank. Landlady (fiercely)—Eggs! Did you say eggs-s-s, Mr. Hogue? To a Lost Handbag VANISHED all hope, weeping I grope, sinee I lost you! Sad and alone, heart turned to stone, since I lost you! I lost two beautiful hatpins, I lost a pack- age of lace, I lost six cigarette coupons, I lost my vanity case, I lost my cards and my latch-key, also some recipes new; I lost the dollar for Fido’s new collar when I lost you! I lost the rent and the gas bill, I lost the sample of tea, I lost the list of new music, I lost the doctor’s fee, I lost the bibs for the baby, I lost the sash ribbon blue, I lost my glasses and theater passes when I lost you! lost the bungalow photos, I lost the dentist’s address, I lost the kimona pattern, I lost about all I possess; I lost the newspaper clippings, I lost my powder rag, too; and though it’s so shocking, thank heaven I'd a stocking when I lost you! —Kate Masterson. Up Against It “Well, Milly seems to be up against it.”” “How 80?”” “She dislikes her husband, but isn’t handsome enough to appear in a divorce court.’” The Limit Mrs. Madden—Isn’t Mr. Blankly a solemn person? Madden—Solemn? Why, he wouldn’t laugh if he saw an- other man’s hat blown out a car window! Not Mary's Company ee YES, ma’am,”’ said Mary, ‘I heard the bell, But didn’t answer the call; for well Ye know I've noticed it long before— My company knock at the kitchen door.’’ Good Idea Hardupp—Let me have ten, will you? Hazitt—Say, does Baker know you? Hardupp—No. Hazitt—Then why don’t you ask him? A quick lunch turneth away digestion. Mrs. Bird—Yes,’ Mr. Bachelor, I know they don't look much like me ; but you must remember they are still very young. comicbooks.com