Judge — January 10, 1914 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“There !"" said Julianna. you, haven't 1?” “T've helped “Yes, ~But’’—— “But you want my opin- ion as to what may happen to-night? Who will ac- company you?’’ “Harold. He plays beautifully.”” “And you are really in love with him?” “Haven't I told you?”’ “Well, if you don’t meet his expecta- tion in this song, he’s likely to hang around the stage door looking for Belda.’’ “But do I sing it atrociously?"’ “Oh, no! But I’m going to make a suggestion. Don’t sing to him just yet. Wait till you are married to him.’’ “That may never happen.”’ “It depends upon you if he cares a lit- tle bit.’” “‘But I shouldn’t like to deceive him in anything.’” “*Asconscientious as that? What about the switch you’re wearing and your daily painting lesson? You put it on carelessly this morning. But, of course, you were inahurry. Deceive him—indeed!"’ “Look to yourself, Julianna! You wear a switch, too, and paint, and your shoes are too small for you!”’ “But I’m not worrying about deceiving any Harold, dea’ “You're a cat—there! made up!"” “Only a little, dear. Your contours are all legitimate and you'll pass in a crowd. But what about your dilemma?”’ “Help me out of it!’’ ‘Does Harold dance?"’ “Like a Russian virtuoso, I’ve heard— trot, boston, dip and tango, and even the new French dance, the matchiche. But I've never danced with him." “Why, that’s just lovely!” “What?” To say I'm “I'm going to the Cabaret Dizzy to-night with a friend. You bring your Harold. If you can’t trot or tango him into an immediate declaration, there is no virtue in the propinquity with which a real dance is syn- onymous,’’ “How clever you are! Bat I’ve got to sing him ‘Sume Day He’ll Come’ to-night. You for- get what I'm here for!” “Do I? I notice, dear, you have a very bad cold.’” “I? Acold? Of course one can’t sing with a cold. What a darling you are!’’ Up to Science Scientific persons have dis- covered another thing about the cimex lectularius which ought to increase the destroy- ing zeal of housewives. The common name for the cimex lectularius is the bedbug. They say now that this bug can infect with tuberculosis. Perhaps science in time may discover something which will render obsolete the oft-repeated stanza: The June bug has its wings of gold, The firefly wings of flame; The bedbug has no wings at all, But gets there just the same. Instantaneous Housekeeping “I see a prominent New York club woman says you can do a day’s house- keeping in ten minutes.”” “Something in that. housemaid in a play? the room is in order.’” Unlucky Result “They seem to have quarreled.”” “Yes, [am afraid their marriage has thrown them together too much.’’ Ever notice the One swipe, and J A STUDENT'S AMBITION “T understand Ethelbert is studying French so he can swear at his new French car." HE FORGOT THAT, OF COURSE Mrs, Peck—Well, Henry, you seem to have remembered everything but that paper of pins. Rail Fence Thoughts IN MOVING the household goods, the last load is always the worst looking, because there is the cook stove, the pig trough and the chicken hovers that have to go. In reading one of your private letters aloud to a friend, it is customary to lower your voice and read through your nose when you reach paragraphs that are of no interest. Take most any common, ordinary, healthy young woman out of povert give her good rations and fine treatment and plenty of fine clothes, and in six months she will look like a queen, Just suppose everything on earth was torn to pieces and dissolved into its for- mer crude state, and that the people here to-day would be commanded to rebuild everything. The job would never be completed, because everybody would want to be foreman of the construction gang. —George Bingham, A Bargain I saw a waist—’twas priced at ‘‘Two.”” “Too much,”’ I said. ‘‘It will not do.”” Next day I got a bargain great— I bought it for ‘One ninety-eight.”” Susie M. Rest. A Grievous Error Count Emallup—They tell me Lord Ballyrot had a narrow escape in America. Duke Smizture—Yes, yes, y'know; while traveling in the wild and woolly West, y’know, he became confused in his terms and called a cowgirl a heifer. comicbooks.com