Judge, 1913-12-06 · page 34 of 40
Judge — December 6, 1913 — page 34: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page is primarily **advertising and light poetry**, not political satire. The main content includes: **Advertisements:** - **Cook's Imperial Champagne** (top): Emphasizes American-made quality at lower cost than imports, appealing to patriotic and economical consumers - **Sexology book**: A self-help guide promising knowledge for husbands, wives, and parents - **Evans' Ale**: Marketed as a holiday gift, positioning alcohol as a "friendly" present **"The Better Part"** (right column): A collection of humorous poems by various contemporary newspaper writers (Robert Browning quote, Sam Kiser, Eddie Guest, Paul Cooke, etc.). Each pairs idealistic sentiments with darkly ironic personal hopes—wanting dividends, idleness, avoiding accidental shooting during hunting season—mocking both optimism and human foibles. The page reflects early-20th-century consumer culture, with light satire in the poetry about materialism and everyday anxieties rather than political commentary.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
—for your own enjoyment—for the entertainment of your guests—you want the best champagne regardless of cost. Purity is the first consider- ation, then flavor, sparkle, life and bouquet. Every requirement is ful- filled in Cook’s. Pure, bubbling and sparkling with lasting life —the fragrance of the grapes is in its bouquet. Made in America, it costs less than imported champagne because there is nothing added for import duty and ocean freight. You will buy Cook's for quality. Sold Everywhere, Served Everywhere Depends largely on a knowl. edge of the whole truth about does not come intelligently of self, not correctly from ordi- veryday sources, _ SEXOLOGY (tlustrated) By Walliam H. Walling, A. M. M. D., imparts in a clear whole Mav. dgea Father Should Impart to Mis Sor Raowledze a Musbend Should Mave. Young Woman Should Mave. Young Wife Should Mave. Mother Should Mave. Should Impart to Her Daughter. Wife Should Hi. Mus: Write for “Other People's Opia PURITAN PUB. CO., 792 Perry Bidg., Phila. Pa. AMERICAN WINE Co. svt. LOUIS A Great Big Gift of friendliness that promotes the dual joy of giving and the joy of getting is found in a barrel contain. E 10 dozen bottles of good old 3 ‘The happiest Holiday Greeting to friends who never fail is a good big jolly barrel of good old Evans’ Ale. Prompts a kindly remembrance every time the cork pops. Practical, Sensible, Substantial. Nearest Dealer or C. H. Evans & Sons, Hudson, N.Y. The Better Part It's wiser being good than bad; It’s safer being meek than fierce; It’s fitter being sane than mad,’ My own hope is a sun will pierce The thickest cloud earth ever stretched: That, after last, returns the first, Though a wide compass round be fetched: That what began best, can’t prove wont, — Robert Browning, It’s braver being glad than glum; It's better being warm than cold; It’s nicer to be glib than dumb; It’s luckier being young than old, My own hope is that, after all The eager faith or foolish doubt, It may not be my fate to fall In where I never can crawl out, Sam Kiser, in Chicago Record-Herald, It's finer to be kind than mean; It's cleverer to be true than great; Pure thoughts are nobler than unclean; It’s manlier to love than hate. My own hope is, through every shock That comes as on through life 1 wend, That some day I may buy a stock That really pays a dividend. —Eddie Guest, in Detroit Free Press, It’s better to be free than slave; It’s easier to loaf than work; The sure way to an empty grave Is always working like a Turk. My own hope is that, with a few More years the way we're going now, We'll get the work we're doing through And have more idleness, somehow. Clark McAdams, in Louis Post-Dip patch. It's better to be bright than dull; It's jollier to smile than frow: And faith is stronger than a ‘‘pul To help a fellow when he’s down, My own hope is some day that I, With heart care-free and bosom light, May feel myself, nor question why, Those ‘‘cheer up’? moods of which I write. Paul Cooke, in Birmingham Age-Herald, It’s better to be happy, bo, Than wearing grouches round with you; It’s better; but—and this I know, That it is so much harder, too. My own hope is that some glad day, O’er pretty lea and fen and dale, I'll hunt—and no bonehead jay Will shoot me for a festive quail. —Mel James, in Johnstown Democrat, It's sweeter sitting close than coy; It’s harder making talk than spoon; It's sillier having doubts than joy. My own hope is that, pretty soon, Some evening, when the light is dim— When lamp globes not too much com fe She'll leave off being stiff and prim, Will stop her trifling and say ‘‘yes.”” —Dizon Merritt, in Nashville Banner. It’s better to be rich than poor, If you know just what riches are. 'Tis not to own a Kohinoor, Nor yet the latest motor car. My own hope is that I may keep The few friends that I value much; That when I'm sleepy I may sleep, And with my food not get in Dutch. In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com eee RE AAAS ASA AOA et A, 2F ATS