Judge — December 6, 1913 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

never getone. She had gotten a chaf- ing-dish herself. She already had two. Buta percolator! Then came my inspiration. Per- haps it was wrong. Perhaps it was wicked. But I acted on it. “Listen, Aunt Mary!’’ I cried. 5 Oo) “Far be it from me to see you suffer ane for a percolator! Far be it from me to flaunt a nickel-plated percolator in the eyes of an aunt who longs to percolate! Of course you can’t have this one. But if you will wait until next Christmas, you shall have one just like this. I promise.’”” Aunt Mary went away overjoyed. Oh, it is sweet in this sad world to make other hearts happy—to make glad the waste places with nickel-plated percolators ! Uncle Charles admired the red necktie with purple stripes. Again the inspiration. ‘‘Uncle Charles, I swear you shall have just such a tie next Christmas.’’ Herbert, brother-in-law on my wife’s side, liked the ash-tray; Aunt May, the berry-spoon (we have six); Aunt Aurelia, the leather-stuffed Kipling (we have Kipling stuffed and plain). We made many hearts happy before the day was over. The anticipation of next year’s gift, we found, brings greater joy to one sinner than the realization of a dozen this year’s gifts you do not want, Last year, when Christmas rolled round, we made good. Aunt Mary got the percolator. It was exactly the same kind of percolator. We matched it perfectly. You would almost swear it was the same percolator. Uncle Charles got the neck- tie, Aunt May the berry-spoon, Aurelia the Kipling. So we went forth spreading cheer among our relatives. Once, a little later, there was almost a catastrophe. Cousin Jane, giver of the percolator, came to dinner. Wife served chocolate. It was a stormy night, and Cousin Jane stayed. At THE KNIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS ENTERPRISE “Say, doctor, how much'll you give me for Christmas if I go ‘round an’ give the mumps to every boy in the school ?"* breakfast, chocolate again. I could see that Cousin Jane was suspicious. She snooped around the kitchen, she eyed the buffet, she even peeked into the pantry. Then I fell another step. So one crime leads to another, like a sequel to a best seller. I asked wife, in thunderous tones, when the Smiths were going to return that percolator. Yes, of course we still shop—Christmas shop. I never said that we didn’t. But we shop early. And we need not wander around and wonder what Cousin This and Uncle That would like. We don’t have to. We know. We have it all written down in a book. We have jotted down how they looked at one thing and what they said about another. And each year we make many hearts happy. We still shop. We go out and buy a dozen things we would like to have for ourselves. If the Christmas grist brings some- thing we like better, one of our purchases is put into stock for next year. It is a great system. I have no doubt you will adopt it. I have no doubt millions will adopt it. I even suspect that some folks already have adopted it. For we have just received a chafing-dish from Aunt Mary. Merely Postponed Ted—So you didn’t manage to catch Dolly under the mistletoe? Ned—That's all right. I’m going to take her for a sleigh-ride to-night. —— Making "Em 5 ‘ ; Ce “Going to make many Christmas presents 7 this year?” “You bet! It’s cheaper than buying ’em."” —s comicbooks.com