Judge, 1913-11-29 · page 16 of 24
Judge — November 29, 1913 — page 16: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This humorous article by Homer Croy satirizes the awkwardness of young men attempting to dance with women, particularly regarding their clumsiness on the dance floor. The main joke involves stepping on a girl's dress train—a common hazard when women wore long gowns with trailing fabric. The author recounts two scenarios: a young Brooklyn man who hits his dance partner with a soda bottle after repeatedly stepping on her feet, and the author's own experience stepping on a woman's train at a dance. When the author tries to deflect blame by angrily confronting an innocent bystander, he gets beaten up instead—while his dance partner immediately moves on to dance with the aggressor, suggesting his efforts to save face were entirely unsuccessful. The satire mocks male vanity, social incompetence, and the gap between men's self-perception and reality. The "Notes by the Way" sidebar continues this theme with unrelated social commentary about fashion and inventions.
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Stepping on a Girl’s Train YOUNG man asked a Brooklyn girl re- cently to go to a dance with him She did. This was the first dance that the young man had ever attended, and as a result he was not as graceful as might be wished. He had a way of getting on the girl’s toes that made him unpopular. She asked him several times to keep off them, but in the mad whirl of the dance he would forget where his feet were un- til her face drew tight. Finally the young man stepped on a particularly sen- sitive part of her toes, and the girl whaled away and hit him over the head with a soda-water bottle. The young man is now taking dancing lessons. We don’t blame the young man for de- ciding to take dancing lessons. There is nothing more disagreeable, while spend- ing the evening with a girl, than to have her hit you over the head with a soda bottle. It is disconcerting. . It breaks up the evening. One evening we took a girl to a dance and made the mistake of getting out on the floor with her. Everywhere we put our feet, we got them on hers. We would get off as soon as we could and beg her pardon, but with all that a certain coldness sprang up between us. While we were working away as hard as we could, trying to go through a tango, we stepped on her train. We shall long By HOMER CROY remember the sickening sound it made. An expression came into her face that made us ill at ease. We felt that our popularity was waning, so we decided in a flash to get out of the trouble by some clever maneuver. Turning, we spoke roughly to a fellow just behind us, asking him what he meant by stepping on our partner’s dress. We squared our should- ers and told him that for a penny we would punch his face. From that time on every- thing is hazy. Something happened. It seems that he had money, for he turned around and carried out our plans on our own face. He was large and strong, and we were heart- ily glad when he was through with our face. When he was satisfied with what he had done to our face, he turned and began on our shins. This made us more anxious than ever to be on our way. When we came to inthe smoking-room, we dragged our way to the door, believ- ing that the girl’s heart would be break- ing from what she had brought upon us; but her heart had stood the strain re- markably well, for she was out on the floor turkey trotting with the fellow who had insulted our face earlier in the even- ing. From that day on the author of these lines and the girl were strangers. SENTIMENT. Percy (to himself) —Hee! So that's where the old man was born! Rotten locality. (Aloud) —All right, George, back to the city. * out to the wash. ATTENDS TO HIS BUSINESS. Customer—Do you keep stationery ? Floor-wvalker—No. I move about and answer questions, The author of these lines was an espe- cially warm stranger to thé young man. The young fellow that the Brooklyn girl hit with a soda-water bottle has something to be thankful for. We would rather have a soda-water bottle hit us than a young reveler in the first blush of manhood. It wouldn't be so disconcert- ing to one’s face. We would advise all young men, when they collide with a train, about selecting the man to pin the blame onto. They should pick out the thin, scholarly variety—not the Gunboat Smith type. A little thought this way would do away with lots of unpleasantness, Notes by the Way A MEMBER of the Newport colony has a pair of cuff buttons valued at $10,- 000. We wouldn't want such an expensive pair of cuff links; we'd be afraid we'd for- get to take them out when we sent our shirt But maybe he thinks to take them out when he trims his cuffs. A French fashion authority, just landed in the United States, says that the women over on this side don’t have the courage to wear startling gowns. We don't wish to hurt his feelings and send him sobbing back to France, but in the last few months we have seen a lot of heroines. 1 A Kentuckian has invented a new cork- screw to open, as he hastily explains, milk bottles. He could do mankind no greater service than to invent a cork- screw to open milk bottles. This man is all right; we should like to know him better. In fact, we'd like to go fishing with him. comicbooks.com