Judge, 1913-11-08 · page 13 of 26
Judge — November 8, 1913 — page 13: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple short humorous pieces typical of early 20th-century satirical magazines. **The image** shows a nighttime urban tenement building with figures visible in windows—likely illustrating one of the comedic pieces below. **The jokes target social conventions and gender dynamics:** - "The Perfect Girl" satirizes idealized femininity by suggesting the "perfect" woman is actually intellectually disabled (dumb and blind). - "Bridge" plays on the word "Horatius" (referencing the classical defender who "kept the bridge"), with the punchline being social disruption at card games. - "Comparative Manners" mocks rudeness and includes a cigarette brand reference ("Chesterfield") as a simile for irritation. - "The Talking Pictures" jokes about synchronized sound films (then new technology) by comparing them to a nagging wife. - "Honesty" uses a child's blunt definition of hypocrisy (fake cheerfulness at school). - "A Cinch" suggests educated women are unattractive to potential suitors. The humor reflects period attitudes about women, class, and emerging technologies, with largely cynical takes on relationships and social behavior.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
The -Perfect Girl ‘With thanks to the author of The Perfect Man") I KNOW a girl who never scolds, Whose thoughts are unconfessed, Who never gossips, never scream And keeps her tongue at rest— (She’s dumb). I know a girl who never winks, Who flirts not with her e: Nor sees a single thing that’s wrong On ocean, earth or sky— (She's blind), —" Bridge Njck—Are you a good card player? At bridge I'm a regular am H. Hayne. Horatiu: Nick—What do you mean—a regular Horatius? —I keep the others from coming OA SI AN Comparative Manners Mrs, Jones—So you got seats at Blank's Theater! How did you find their new box-office man? . Jones—He was so rude that he made me feel like a Chesterfield. , Oh, Papa! Miss Flip—I wish some one would give , me an idea how to put on a hair net. Father—I wish some one would give you an idea to put under your hair net. Wasting Away “T notice that our cook,’’ said he, ‘Is thinner than she used to be.’” “*Yes,’’ she replied; ‘‘from day to day She seems inclined to waste away. No, Ethelbert, the function of the New York Curb Market is not to restrain the impetuous speculator. The Talking Pictures THE talking pictures are the rage— We hear about them everywhere; But still to me (and I’m no sage) They do not seem so very rare. For at our house, as I can prove, The principle we recognize: When my wife talks, I quickly move, And thus, you see, we synchronize. —D. B. MacRae. Honesty Teacher—Henry, can you define a hyp- ocrite? Henry—Yessum. It’s a kid wot comes to school wid a smile on his face. A Cinch Howard—Is there any advantage in having your best girl highly educated? Coward—Sure thing! No one trie’ to get her away from you. comicbooks.com