Judge, 1913-09-27 · page 8 of 24
Judge — September 27, 1913 — page 8: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three humorous pieces satirizing marriage and social behavior circa early 20th century. **"Pros and Cons"** is a punning poem about marriage's contradictions—courtship's "pro-found" love becomes married life's "con-fusion" and "strife." It mocks how wives demand confessions while husbands must make concessions. The wordplay (pro/con prefixes) suggests married life's fundamental contradictions. **"Of Course He Did"** is a children's joke: a boy asks for ice cream at a soda counter but only has one nickel for two cones—the punchline implies he'll get two anyway (or eat them anyway). **"Curious Creatures"** features Uncle Fogy describing society's oddities: a man who beats his wife from jealousy over movie stars, people who prefer circuses to intellectual Chautauquas, and a non-smoking man who smugly refuses cigars. The satire targets social hypocrisy and peculiar human contradictions. The illustrations depict domestic scenes emphasizing the marriage and social commentary themes.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Pros and Cons CONSIDER, ere you take a wife, The pros and cons of wedded life. Pro-tracted wedlock’s safe to show Vices con-tracted long ago— The pro-duct of the hon- eymoon Appears in con-duct, very y soon. ‘Tis bliss pro-found to love, no doubt, But cares con-found when love’s burntout. Pro-fessions maidens deem their due, But wives demand con-fessions too! Where maids the merest pro-test heed, A vigorous con-test wives oft need! The maid con-vokes the joys of life, The wife pro-vokes—this leads to strife. Hugs in pro-fusion maids allot, Con-fusion is the underplot! Yet doubtless wedlocks pro-duct should, All said and done, con-duce to good— In the pro-cession, if you'd take Your proper place, con-cessions make— The pro-vince of this humble verse Is to ccn-vince—things might be worse! —Geo. B. Morewood. Of Course He Did Charlie, aged six, asked at the soda- water counter for a cone of ice cream. The clerk, not catching his order, asked, “Do you want two cones?" “I want two,’’ said Charlie, ‘‘but I've only got one nickel."” IN THE FRONT PARLOR AND OVER THE GARDEN WALL No Feathers “The umpire calls a foul,’’ “Yet not a feather do I see. “Correct!"’ he answered; ‘‘even so! But this is a picked nine, you know!" HAPPINESS IS MERELY A STATE OF MIND Curious Creatures «« AMONG the many men of many minds,’’ a trifle mordaciously stated old Uncle Fogy, ‘‘so aptly in the copybooks of our youth likened to many birds of many kinds, I believe of the strange and curious creatures depicted on the long line of banners in front of the side-show of life, the quaintest specimen ever had the pleasure of encountering was a gentleman who beat his wife every now and again because he was jealous of her admiration for the heroes on the moving-picture screens. Of course there are queer people who actually own up that they prefer a circus to a Chautau- qua, and here and there exists a rare man who, although he does not smoke, takes no pleasure in insulting you by the immaculate superiority with which he declines the cigar you proffer. And I once knew a vegetarian who named his curtailed dog ‘Expense,’ and a father who confessed that he seldom licked his son for the boy’s good, but because he himself had a mean dispositior.”” A Moving Tale “T saw Jinks just now, and he seemed much put out.’” “He is; his landlord is just after dis- possessing him!’" The flower of the family has long ago turned to powder. comicbooks.com