Judge — August 23, 1913 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“Do? I don’t have to do anything but enjoy myse}f,’” “*Why don’t you go abroad?’’ “I'm thinking of it.’” “Alone?” “Not exactly.’” th whom, then?’ “Oh, I'm going to get married." “Married!” “Yes, What is there strange about that?” “It can’t be you're going to marry that girl you—that college widow?" “College widows don’t get married except in plays.”’ “Who is it, then?”? “Bessie Blue, of the Gayety.”” “What! How can you think of such a thing? A—achorus girl! What will my friends say—what will Eugene say?” “I don’t care much what anybody says. There's a bunch of fellows who'd marry her in a minute.”’ “*She’s only after your money."” “She said she’d marry me if I had- n't a dollar.”” “And you believe thet? You don’t know anything about m jony—its seriousness—its responsibilities : “T know I don't. But I’m going to SPORTS OF A BIG CITY—TAKING THE HURDLES IN THE SUBWAY learn. Just So The Size of It “Society has little use for a man when his cash is gone.’’ ee THE TOWN row which flourishes in almost every hamlet in the land,’* commented the Erratic Thinker, ‘‘is the logical result of what he said and she said and I said and they * said, and what he said about what they said and I said about Fogesics Up to Date what he said and we said about what she said, together with ie ita bimead dhe tyme bliss his criticisms on her pastor and their animadversions on my apni cescgpstr dt br arege pad lodge and politics and my outspoken opinion of the banker and ‘Though never @ child Jennie bad, Gene be tought the church’s serious doubts about the ultimate destination of jer. Che :cutesteugenical pap! ‘ anybody but its own members, and the panning the So- cial Circle gives everybody not present, and the assaults made by the popular evangelist on everybody and every- thing that does not contribute to his purse and glory, augmented by the idle and ineffectual remarks of the town loafers on what few subjects and individuals the rest of us accidentally overlook—the whole, in my humble opinion, going to show that all of us talk ex- ceedingly too much.’" Where She Fails There are many things that a girl can do, If she’s genuine suffragette through and through; But she fails—and the records show it clear— Again and again, as an auctioneer. She never can learn to say with ease, ‘‘Now, gentlemen, make me an offer, please."” The Commercial Mind “I see that the new British ambassador’s name is —t Spring-Rice,’’ said Bildad. “Well, what of it?”” growled old Moneybags. ‘What interests me is September wheat."* “‘No; but while his money holds out to burn, the vilest sin- ner may return.”” WOMAN TO WOMAN Crafty milliner (coaxingly) —The white feather on the hat makes madam look about twenty one = Mrs. Sprite (eagerly) —Yes, yes. Why not put on two or three more ? The latest slashed skirt seems to be split fifty-fifty. comicbooks.com