Judge, 1913-06-07 · page 7 of 24
Judge — June 7, 1913 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Judge* magazine contains multiple pieces of **wedding-themed humor** satirizing early 20th-century marriage customs and gender dynamics. The main cartoon depicts a child asking a motorist for a ride, claiming his sister has "the automobeel bug"—a pun on the newfangled automobile craze. The written content mocks bridal traditions: "For Luck!" plays on the "something old, new, borrowed, blue" wedding rhyme, humorously applying it to both bride and groom. The bride's tears serve as "something blue"; the groom worries about bills. Several short pieces satirize marriage itself: "Her Marriage Vow" jokes that the newlywed wife obeys her husband by doing exactly what she wants. "Bridal Tourists" depicts the bride enchanted by Italian scenery while the groom—presumably frustrated about marital expenses—mutters irritably about "chains." "A Pertinent Question" plays on "honeymoon" versus "moneymoon," suggesting the groom married for wealth. Overall, the humor reflects period anxieties about matrimony, female independence, and consumerism.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Please, inister, will you give my sister a ride? She's got the automobeel bug bad.” For Luck! Something old and something news Something borrowed, something blue! The Bride ‘OR ‘‘something old,’’ the veil of lace Which hid her mother’s bridal face. For ‘‘something new," the long-trained dress— A dream of satin loveliness! Her “something borrowed” was the gay Silk scarf that tied her shower bouquet. But when they searched for ‘‘something blue,”’ She cried, ‘‘I think my eyes will do!’’ The Bridegroom For ‘‘something old,’’ the bridegroom chap His pipe hid ‘neath a pocket flap. For ‘‘something new’’ to grace the day, His coat of black and trousers gray. His ‘*something borrowed’’ chanced to be The money for the preacher's fee. Nor lacked he yet for ‘tsomething blue,’” In thoughts of bills soon falling due! Lida Ket Wiceins, Advice Go to the aunt, thou new wife—consider her pies and be wise! Suggested for the Bride’s Bouquet By Love-in-a-mist. Thrift. Marigold, Bachelors’ buttons. Catch fly. Bed straw. The bridegroom, Her father, Her mother, Her brother, Her little sister, Marjorie Daw, Her coiffeuse, Ladies’ tresses. Her lady's maid, Ladies’ slippers. The English butler, London pride. Her elderly rival, Henbane. Her schoolmates, Wild thyme. A trifler, Cockscomb. An old admirer, Forget-me-not. A flatterer, Venus’s looking glass. Previous aspirant, Balm. A favorite cousin, Rue. A rejected suitor, Love-lies-bleeding. Her duenna, Snapdragon. A cynic, Loose-strife. The bride herself, Maize.—Gr. B. serneed. Her Marriage Vow Her dearest friend—Do you really obey Charley? Mrs. Newlywed—Certainly. He tells me to please myself, and I always do. Bridal Tourists THE BRIDE looked on the mountains, The river’s golden strand; Italian garden fountains Were tinkling near at hand. She spake with cooing kindnes: “How fair these vistas are!’” The bridegroom, in his blindness, Bowed down beneath the car. From thence did he deliver Some words about a chain— Such words as made her shiver With an astonished pain. Then to the balmy breezes She hummed these lines, and smiled: ““Where every prospect pleases, And only man is riled.”’"—Frederich Moxon. A Pertinent Question “Well, I see Skeezicks married that heiress, after all,’’ said Binks. ‘es,"” said Slithers. ‘‘ Wonder where they went for their moneymoon?”’ ? A bride remains a bride by hook orercok! But what’s a bride without her picture took? comicbooks.com