Judge, 1913-06-07 · page 6 of 24
Judge — June 7, 1913 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This story mocks the limitations of women's higher education in early 20th-century America. Prince Ohsowise seeks a wife with both beauty and genuine intellectual depth, but American heiresses—despite expensive education—prove superficial. Their "culture" is described as "so thin" he can "see right through it." The satire peaks when he marries "Princess Sophomore," a woman whose vocabulary consists entirely of slang adjectives like "dandy" and "punk." Despite her elite upbringing, she cannot articulate complex thoughts beyond shallow praise. The cruel punchline: they live "happily ever after"—suggesting either that men don't actually want educated women, or that American women's education was so inadequate it produced only ornamental sophistication. The accompanying illustration of a woman's eye reinforces that her appeal remains purely physical, not intellectual. Judge ridicules both the pretense of women's higher education and the mediocre results it produced.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Sophomore NCE upon a time there was a hand- some but eccentric young prince, named Ohsowise, who started out in quest of a wife whose matchless beauty should be exceeded only by her education and refinement. After journeying through many coun- tries and meeting only with dishearten- ing failures, he finally reached the United Kingdom of America, The young prince was delighted with the reception that had been arranged for him by the rulers of this rich and power- ful monarchy. He was entertained by steel kings, coal barons, lords of the for- est, land thieves and all the other crowned heads; and when the matrons of the em- pire learned the real object of his visit, they fairly tumbled over themselves in their eagerness to help Ohsowise find a bride that measured up to his particular requirements. “I am afraid,”’ ventured his host one morning, when Ohsowise was looking par- ticularly blue and discouraged, ‘‘that your highness is too critical. We spend mil- ions annually on the higher education of ‘women, and as for beauty, why, we make a specialty of peaches—do you under- stand?—peaches!’” “Your women are charming,’’ replied the prince politely, but with a puzzled and O expression, ‘‘I can testify to their beauty and intelligence; but their culture (pardon me) is so thin that 1 can see right through it, and then, no matter DMAQe- DRAWING FROM THE NUDE how attractive the girl is, I am dread- fully bored.”’ His companion meditated for some time in silence. “Thave her!’ he cried at last, spring- ing to his feet and pacing the floor ex- citedly. ‘‘Of course, the very oned What achump not to have thought of her be- fore! You must meet her at once.’’ “‘Meet whom?’’ asked the prince, sup- pressing a yawn. He was getting tired hsowise of clews that led only to bitter disap- pointments. “The Princess Sophomore !’” One night, a few weeks later, the moon, while leisurely scanning the deck of a steamship, spied the happy couple, and, being full, deliberately closed one eye. “Gee!’’ said the Princess Ohsowise, nee Sophomore, impetuously squeezing her husband’s hand under the steamer rug, “but isn’t this a perfectly dandy night?” “Dandy?” repeated Prince Ohsowise musingly. ‘‘Ah, yes, Iremember! Tell me, darling," he continued reverently, for the richness and beauty of her vocab- ulary filled him with admiration and awe, “‘is dandy the odd but singularly felicitous and expressive adjective which you em- ployed a few moments ago at dinner, when you were describing the sala Or was it the oysters that were ‘dandy’ and the salad ‘bum’?"" “‘No, dearest,’’ she murmured; was the cocktail that was ‘dandy.’ salad was ‘punk.’’? And so ends the strange story of Soph- omore and Ohsowise, who were thus united in holy wedlock and lived happily ever after, WB Rue. “it The The matrimonial sea is wide and deep. “THE LIGHT THAT LIES IN WOMAN'S EYES” comicbooks.com