Judge, 1913-06-07 · page 8 of 24
Judge — June 7, 1913 — page 8: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page lampoons late 19th/early 20th-century anxieties about shifting gender roles. The main theme: what happens when men become housekeepers? **"O, Tempora, O, Mores!"** lists ridiculous domestic incompetence men would exhibit—wasting water, spoiling food, needing mother's help—suggesting men are naturally unsuited to housework, a critique of women's demands for equality. **Marriage satires** mock young brides: their cooking disasters, nervous breakdowns at weddings (caused by tight shoes, not emotion), and delusions about romance. "A bride and her delusions are soon parted" captures the cynical tone. **"A Frigid Reception"** shows Percy Spenderbilt introducing his new wife—a chorus girl—to shocked society, satirizing class anxiety and scandalous marriages. The overall message defends traditional gender hierarchies: women belong in kitchens (badly), men in breadwinning. These pieces dismiss both women's aspirations and unconventional marriages as absurd.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
O, Tempora, O, Mores! N THE evolution of things, when man becomes the housekeeper, he probably will: Discharge the cook because she cannot make sweetbreads for tea. In the Bride’s Kitchen NEW cook is known by her potato peelings. If the garbage man told all he knew, I'd pity some brides! Wouldn't you? What's a cookbook without a mother? All brides’ cooking is fla- vored with ambrosia. Letonly gods and young husbands par- take! Jill sweetened the potatoes, And put salt in the tea; But Jack was kind and’ very blind, The Little Rift within the Lute “THERE was a little bride, And she wore a little veil, Above a little countenance, A little wan and pale; While the minister was reading The wedding service sweet, She winced, as if she really couldn't Stand upon her feet. The little bride was happy— A love match ‘twas, all right; But, oh! her little wedding shoes Were awful small and tight! Margaret G. Hayt. The Crucial Point And not a word said he! Bride's mother—Were you nervous dur- ing the ceremony? Bride—Well, I lost my self-possession when papa gave me away to Charley! Shifting the Responsibility Miss Rocksey—Oh, papa, why do you wish me to marry the kind of man who can get money out of the other fellow? Old Rocksey—Because, dear, then he won't be trying to get itout of me. Repenting at Leisure understand brough fell in love with his wife at first sight. Hemmandhaw—Yes; and now he is sorry he didn’t take a second look. Shimmerpate—1 Bean- THE ONLY PEBBLE ON THE BEACH Fry dahlia bulbs for sweet potatoes. Cook rice in the corn popper. Let the furnace fire go out four times a week. Forget the tap and waste all the soft water. Split kindling wood—for the first time in his life. Spoil the shape of the baby’s mouth with a pacifier. Kick because his wife stopped to see a man and is ten minutes late to dinner. Cry when he is abused for not making apple dumplings like his father made. Go home to mother when wife, the brute! says the soup is burned— and it isn’t, so there! But let us hope that he will be glad to come back to his own vine and fig tree when his anger has subsided, for somebody has to beat the beefsteak and can cherries, while mother hus- tles for money with which to buy baby shoes. Byrom Williams, A bride and her delusions are soon parted. Anomalous “Marriage is odd; you add one to one and make one!"" “How singular!"’ A FRIGID RECEPTION Percy Spenderbilt brings home his new chorus gitl wife. comicbooks.com