Judge, 1913-05-17 · page 22 of 24
Judge — May 17, 1913 — page 22: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is primarily a **Budweiser beer advertisement** occupying most of the page, depicting a man relaxing on a home porch—the idealized leisure scenario the brewery marketed to sell beer as essential to domestic comfort. The page also contains several **humorous short pieces**: - **"The Loafer"**: A folk-style poem (credited to American Lumberman) that paradoxically celebrates a worker who avoids labor yet "works so bloomin' hard" at dodging work—satire on workplace laziness. - **"The Smart Gateman"**: A anecdote mocking a Kansas City railroad employee's unhelpful attitude toward a rushed passenger. - **"Helping Nephew"**: A brief story about an elderly charity recipient who leaves her daily milk and bread allowance to a nephew in her will—gentle satire on unexpected inheritances. - **"Society for the Prevention of the Abuse of Words"**: Satirizes overworked language by proposing an "eight-hour law" for words needing vacation. These pieces typify Judge's mix of social satire and light humor targeting American manners and speech.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
WHERE'S more real enjoyment? The shady home- porch, a comfortable chair, a good cigar or pipe, a congenial friend, and a cool, refreshing bottle of Budweiser Every Week, 3,000,000 Bottles ‘That is the it of Budweiser. Hundreds of visitors every day go through with ‘h mai ind branches ides to inspect this immaculate ireemplaymentto 7,500 people. Tt jant fastitution. One cannot see it sive empla: 7,500 people. The main 42 1 to 70 city blocks. There without the conviction that qual- So Tio eoparuce bulldings—a city in themselves. ity is. an Anheuser-Busch rule. Anheuser-Busch, St. Louis The Largest Plant of Its Kind Some of the Principal fn the World il Buildings You ought to have a copy of the De Luxe Edition of The First National Bank By JAMES MONTGOMERY FLAGG Beautifully colored on heavy plate paper—I2 3-4 x 16 1-2— mounted on heavy double gray mat—I7 x 21. Two Dollars The supply is limited so act at once. Send check, money order or stamps to == | JUDGE, 225 Fifth Avenue, New York The Loafer You kin always tell a loafer, if there's loafin’ in the crew; You kin always tell a loafer, cause he the maintop, he ig On the drive he’s always lookin’ fers chance away to snib; In the woods the smallest timber is the timber he will find; In the yard the twelve-by-twenty is the kind he leaves behind. He will fuss an’ he will fiddle, huntin’ up the softest snap; Life is one eternal treadmill for the take. it-easy chap. Yes, it takes a lot of trouble skippin’ labor day by day; Fer a fellah has to figger how to dodge it all the way. On the drive er in the timber, in the mill or in the yard, You kin always tell a loafer, ‘cause be works so bloomin’ hard. —American Lumberman, The Smart Gateman—‘‘I had always thought the public servants of my own city were the freshest on earth,”’ saysa New York man, ‘‘but a recent experience in Kansas City has led to a revision of that notion. “One afternoon I dashed into a railway station of that town, with just half a minute to buy my ticket and enter a train for Chicago. I dashed through the first gate, and, pointing to a certain train, asked hurriedly of the gateman, “**Is that my train?’ “**Well, I don’t know,’ replied he, with exasperating deliberation. ‘Maybe it is, but the cars have the company’s name ca them."'’—Harper’s Magazine. Helping Nephew—Not long ago there died in Albany, N. Y., an old woman, who for years had been the object of charity. Nevertheless, the old lady possessed sufi- cient means at her death to warrant ber making a wi For about nine years before she passed away, this old lady had been the recipiest of a pint of milk and a loaf of bread, sent to her daily by a wealthy woman of the town, When the will came to probate, it was discovered that the maker thereof had bequeathed her daily allowance of milk and bread to her nephew.—Lippix cott’s Magazine, Society for the Prevention of the Abuse of Words— Words are helpless things. They are absolutely at the mercy of sry one who sees fit to use them. For that reason we are forming a Society for the Prevention of the Abuse of Words. We believe in an eight-hour law for wordt and a minimum wage. At present there are any number of words that have bees worked overtime and need a vacation For a long lay-off with full pay, we sug gest: jociety is open to all. Any ont who is sick and tired of hearing a certsi word day in and day out may move for its retirement until its health and strength and original meaning.—Detrot Free Press, In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com