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Judge, 1913-05-17 · page 20 of 24

Judge — May 17, 1913 — page 20: what you’re looking at

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Judge — May 17, 1913 — page 20: Judge, 1913-05-17

What you’re looking at

This is primarily an **advertising and humor page** from Judge magazine, featuring several short satirical anecdotes rather than political cartoons. The humor pieces mock social pretenses and gender dynamics: - **"A Mercenary Lass"** satirizes a woman who values gifts over love, using a financier's (William D. Straight's) disapproval of American bankers withdrawing from Chinese loans as a framing device for the joke. - **"Pat and the Turkey"** stereotypes Irish dialect and naïveté through slapstick humor. - **"The Right Lassie"** plays on Scottish thriftiness—a Scotsman approves of his fiancée's delay in accepting his proposal because she "waits for night rates" (cheaper telegraph costs). - **"The Poor Pedestrian"** references Secretary of War Garrison with a dark joke about automobiles hitting pedestrians, suggesting wealthy drivers care little for ordinary people's safety. The page is dominated by product advertisements (law school scholarships, medical devices, hotels). The satire reflects early 20th-century class anxieties and ethnic stereotyping typical of the era.

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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Scholarship oie At this time we offer a Tuition Credit Valu 1200.00. Aneotately, SuperiorAdvantages Mot Our School AMERICAN CORRESPONDENCE Cargt Le Sate oe Bove Lott enerd Dest. 2ets = Manhattan Bldg Chicago, UL, HOME SEND FOR BicFREE LAW SCHOOLBOOK Placed y&. Home FREE A Piedmont Southern Red Codar Chest placed Freteht, prevald. dust and damp. Relief For Rupture ‘ Without Operation We Allow A 60-Day Test— Entirely At Our Own Risk—To Prove It No longer any need to drag through life at the mercy of leg-strap and spring trusses. No reason in the world for letting them force you to undergo a dangerous operation. the misery of wes ind springs. Guar- anteed to hold at all times—including when you are work- ing, taking a bath, etc. Has relieved in case after case a Bor 126 Cathe Co, 125 E- 23rd St, New York City A Mercenary Lass— iam D. Straight, the financier, was discussing the Ameri- can bankers’ recent withdrawal from the Chinese loan, ‘IT like China,’? Mr. Straight said. “My regard for China will not let me consider her from a purely selfish and commercial viewpoint. I cannot, in this matter, put myself in the position of the young lady who was asked by her chum, “**Do you think, dear, that it’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all?’ “**Why, of course it is,’ the young lady replied, ‘provided he lets you keep all his presents.’ ''—Exchange. Pat and the Turkey—Not long since, in a Western market town, I chanced to observe an Irishman with a live turkey under his arm. The turkey was squawk- ing and gobbling in a distressed way—a racket to which the Irishman did not at first pay any particular notice. Finally, however, the disturbance got on the Celt’s nerves. Giving the bird a poke in the side, he exclaimed, “*Be quiet, you! What's the matter wid ye, anyhow? Why should yez want to walk whin I’m willin’ to carry ye?”’"— Harper's Magazine. The Right Lassie—A Scotchman, wish- ing to know his fate at once, t a proposal of marriage to the choice. After spending the entire di the telegraph office, he was finally re- warded late in the evening by an affirma- tive answer. “If I were you,’’ suggested the opera- tor, when he delivered the message, ‘I'd think twice before I'd marry a girl that kept me waiting all day for my answer."’ “Na, na,’’ retorted the Scot. ‘The lass who waits for the night rates is the lass for me.’’— Pittsburgh Chronicle- Telegraph. The Poor Pedestrian—Secretary of War Garrison is, of course, no foe to the auto- mobile; but during his judgeship in New Jersey, he always showed a commendable respect for the rights of the foot pas- senger. Mr. Garrison, commenting on an acci- dent where an automobilist had been self- ish and reckless, once said, “This man’s attitude toward the gen- eral public reminds me of Spede, whom a friend asked, “«*How did you come to run over that poor fellow? Were you running too fast?’ ‘**No,’ said the automobilist, with a grim smile; ‘he was running too slow. —Exchange. The Queen’s English—Second Avenue Sadie—How d'you like my bathin’ suit, Red? Roughneck Red—Can't see it, Sadie. S. A. S.—You like it, donchu, Jim? Gentleman Jim (gallantly)—You bet! It’s a peach! There ain't nothin’ to it! —Dartmouth Jack o' Lantern. Wine Jelly when flavored with Abbott's Bitters ts made more delightful and healthful. Sample of bit- ters by mail, 25ets. in stamps. C. W. Abbott & Co. Baltimore, Md. EOPLES LINE Your Vacation Whether it leads you from or to New York eee the glories of the historic Hudson River revealed by the powerful searchlights of the palatial steamers of the Hudson Navigation Company. ‘This fleet of stately river craft includes the C. W. Morse, Adirondack, Trojan and Rensselaer and the latest addition the BERKSHIRE a floating palace of luxury—the largest river steamer in the world. ‘Write for Mastrated Rocket. 11 bs free Excellent cuisine and rouse. HUDSON NAVIGATION COMPANY Pier 32.N. R. jew York Georgian Terrace Hotel Atlanta’s new million dollar hotel, at Peachtree and Ponce A Modern Twentieth Century Hotel Hotel Imperial Broadway at 31st and 32d Streets New York City OR convenience of location—one block from Pennsylvania Station, within six minutes of new Grand Central Terminal, convenient to the 32d Street Station of the Hudson River Tubes (just across the street), also to the new Shopping district and Theatres For excellence of cuisine and effi- cient yet unobtrusive service For refined, comfortable and luxu- rious surroundings For its atmosphere of hospitality and the desire of its management to cater to the comfort of its guests In short Fora hotel charging moderate rates, yet offering the utmost in service an comfort, Hotel Imperial cannot be excelled. RATES: Rooms with use of bath, $2.00 and up with connecting’ private bath, $2.50 and ep ROBERT STAFFORD COPELAND TOWNSESD Proprietor Manager In answering advertisements plcoase mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com